Mary S.... and "All"...
I don't have Mary's email address or, being the oh-so-very-thoughtful person I
am <grin> I'd NEVER go off-topic by adding any jokes or humor here in THIS
august place being, as it is, totally dedicated to the one topic of
Parkinson's and Parkinson's only. That said (and I lie alot), I offer the
following, as it DOES appear to be ON TOPIC, if one considers this past week's
"Battle Between the Brits 'n the Colonies Redoux," and also considering who
won the original war (rubbing it in!) <HA! I always love being on the winning
side!> (giggle) ENJOY!
<SCROLL DOWN JUST A BIT....>
Barb Mallut
[log in to unmask]
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The Court of King George III
London, England
July 10, 1776
Mr. Thomas Jefferson
c/o The Continental Congress
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Dear Mr. Jefferson:
We have read your "Declaration of Independence" with great
interest. Certainly, it represents a considerable
undertaking, and many of your statements do merit serious
consideration. Unfortunately, the Declaration as a whole
fails to meet recently adopted specifications for proposals
to the Crown, so we must return the document to you for
further refinement. The questions which follow might assist
you in your process of revision:
1. In your opening paragraph you use the phrase "the Laws
of Nature and Nature's God." What are these laws? In what
way are they the criteria on which you base your central
arguments? Please document with citations from the recent
literature.
2. In the same paragraph you refer to the "opinions of
mankind." Whose polling data are you using? Without
specific evidence, it seems to us the "opinions of mankind"
are a matter of opinion.
3. You hold certain truths to be "self-evident." Could you
please elaborate. If they are as evident as you claim then
it should not be difficult for you to locate the appropriate
supporting statistics.
4. "Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" seem to be
the goals of your proposal. These are not measurable goals.
If you were to say that "among these is the ability to
sustain an average life expectancy in six of the 13
colonies of at last 55 years, and to enable newspapers in
the colonies to print news without outside interference, and
to raise the average income of the colonists by 10 percent
in the next 10 years," these could be measurable goals.
Please clarify.
5. You state that "Whenever any Form of Government becomes
destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to
alter or to abolish it, and to institute a new
Government...." Have you weighed this assertion against
all the alternatives? What are the trade-off
considerations?
6. Your description of the existing situation is quite
extensive. Such a long list of grievances should precede
the statement of goals, not allow it. Your problem
statement needs improvement.
7. Your strategy for achieving your goal is not developed
at all. You state that the colonies "ought to be Free and
Independent States," and that they are "Absolved from All
Allegiance to the British Crown."
Who or what must change to achieve this objective? In what
way must they change? What specific steps will you take to
overcome the resistance? How long will it take? We have
found that a little foresight in these areas helps to
prevent careless errors later on.
How cost-effective are your strategies?
8. Who among the list of signatories will be responsible
for implementing your strategy? Who conceived it? Who
provided the theoretical research? Who will constitute the
advisory committee?
Please submit an organization chart and vitas of the
principal investigators.
9. You must include an evaluation design. We have been
requiring this since Queen Anne's War.
10. What impact will your problem have? Your failure to
include any assessment of this inspires little confidence in
the long-range prospects of your undertaking.
11. Please submit a PERT diagram, an activity chart,
itemised budget, and manpower utilization matrix.
We hope that these comments prove useful in revising your
"Declaration of Independence." We welcome the submission of
your revised proposal. Our due date for unsolicited
proposals is July 31, 1776. Ten copies with original
signatures will be required.
Sincerely,
Management Analyst to the British Crown
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From: PARKINSN: Parkinson's Disease - Information Exchange Network on behalf
of Mary Sheehan
Sent: Wednesday, November 20, 1996 9:26 AM
To: Multiple recipients of list PARKINSN
Subject: Humor & Laughter
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Thanks for all the laughs I've gotten on the list. I share all of the jokes
with a good friend who has ALS. I try to bring her one funny item a week but
sometimes can't find a new joke or story. Does anyone know if there's a site
for humor on the web? Anyone have a good joke to share?
It's good to know that PD doesn't affect the funny bone.
Mary Sheehan
