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I offer my comments at this time both seeking and sharing advice: 1. I medicated with ditropan for 7 days recently to attempt to relieve bladder spasms (rx from my MD.....had taken drug previously for same problem and it did cause me to suffer more problems with insomnia, but still I needed some relief from physical symptoms so with a bit of reluctance I decided to try the drug again. Insomnia was not as bad this time...hooray.........and temporary relief from spasms was welcomed.) 2. Relief from spasms allowed me to catch up on work around the house for two or three days and then also allowed me time each evening to discuss with Don a few things that were bothering me...or stewing in the back of my mind. In other words..............I decided over the course of three evenings to gradually work into a list of several of the things that he had done wrong in the course of 33 years of marriage. (those lists can get fairly long and do take several days to assemble and talk about.) 3. then I stopped taking the ditropan and within 24 hours it seems that Don was able to improve his behavior dramatically! I could even find a few things to praise that he had accomplished in the last 33 years. (that list assembles itself a lot faster). So............. How quickly do any of you recognize depression/self pity/when it is drug induced? How do you tell your spouse so as not to belittle her/his complaints? How quickly do you get MDs to respond? Any clues from any patients as to how to recognize this and respond to it quickly before dragging poor spouse through the mirk of your muddle? I can see the problem from the edge of the scene...........but I am not good at recognizing myself in the middle of the muck while I am working so hard at trying to sling it rather than wade on out at top speed. Brain chemicals!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Two + weeks offers a lot of hindsight and even more dread of wandering into the mire again. RIta Weeks