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I have been sending my grandpa all the jokes you have supplied and he has
really enjoyed them.  This is one that he sent for me to send to you.
Laurie

>Date: Sat, 23 Nov 1996 20:12:53 -0700
>X-Sender: [log in to unmask]
>To: [log in to unmask]
>From: [log in to unmask] (Walter M. Adams)
>Subject: re:engineers
>
>LAURIE:
>The following was taken from a Masonic post:
>
>Well, its Friday and I have inserted my office key into the lock five times
>this week and it has unlocked the door all five times.
>
>That seems enough to do a little celebrating on a beautiful Friday.
>
>Before I tell this joke, I need to do a little setup here, so please bear
>with me. If everyone on this list lived in Oklahoma it wouldn't be
>necessary, but since its rumored that there are a few people on this list
>who don't live in the Great State of Oklahoma, I should do a little
>explaining here.
>
>I work at the University of Oklahoma, but there is another State University
>in Oklahoma called, Oklahoma State University, and referred to as OSU, oddly
>enough. If you Live in Oklahoma you can safely skip the next several
>paragraphs and go straight to the Joke.
>
>If you are a supporter of OSU, you can stop sounding out the syllables right
>now.
>
>OSU started out mainly as an Agricultural College. The students were referrd
>to as "Aggies". Basically, you could go to THE University  of Oklahoma and
>get an education in Medicine, Law and Engineering OR you could go to OSU and
>get a degree in Agriculture and Goat Roping. That is pretty much the case
>except the goat roping classes are now taught at the OSU Veterinary school,
>Its also my understanding that an Aggie diploma authorizes the holder to
>park in all the best Handicap parking places.
>
>Anyway, with that intro, maybe this little Friday "time out" will bring a
>smile to someone's face. This is really a Masonic Post because I heard this
>last night at a York Rite meeting from a graduate of THE University of
>Oklahoma College of Engineering.
>
>It seems some time back, a Preacher, a Thief and an OSU "Aggie" Engineer
>found themselves about to be executed by guillotine.
>
>The Reverend walks up first and is given an option of "face up" or "face
>down". He says, "Face up!  I want to be looking at Heaven when the blade
>falls". They lock him in and drop the blade. It falls, gathers epeed and
>just before it reaches his neck, the blade suddenly stops. The executioners
>say,"This is a miracle and obviously an intervention by God!" So they
>release the Preacher and set him free and send him on his way.
>
>Next the Thief is asked how he wants it. He says, "I want it just like the
>Preacher." They lock him in, face up. The blade falls, gathers speed, and
>stops just before reaching his neck. The Executioners, shake their heads and
>say,"We know this time it is not heavenly intervention. Something else must
>be wrong here. But the blade stopped so we must let the Thief go."
>
>Next the OSU Aggie Engineer is given the option. He has witnessed the first
>two aborted executions and he has been studying the guillotine while he
>waited his turn. He too says, "Face up!" They lock him in and are about to
>drop the blade when he looks up and says,"WAIT! I THINK I SEE THE PROBLEM
>HERE!!!"
>
>           *  *  * *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *
>
>Real Engineers. . . .
>
>Real Engineers consider themselves well dressed if their socks match.
>
>Real Engineers buy their spouses a set of matched screwdrivers for their
>birthday.
>
>Real Engineers wear mustaches or beards for "efficiency". Not because
>they're lazy.
>
>Real Engineers have a non-technical vocabulary of 800 words.
>
>Real Engineers won't answer your question unless you have more than two
>variables in it.
>
>Real Engineers think a "biting wit" is their fox terrier.
>
>Real Engineers know the second law of thermodynamics - but not their own
>shirt size.
>
>Real Engineers repair their own cameras, telephones, televisions, watches,
>and automatic transmissions.
>
>Real Engineesr say
>its 70 degrees Fahrenheit, 25 degrees Celsius, and 298 degrees Kelvin" and
>all you say is "Isn't it a nice day".
>
>Real Engineers give you the feeling you're having a conversation with a dial
>tone or busy signal.
>
>Real Engineers wear badges so they wont forget who they are. Sometimes a
>note is attached saying "Don't offer me a ride. I drove my own car."
>
>Real Engineers' politics run towards acquiring a parking space with their
>name on it and an office with a window.
>
>Real Engineers know the "ABC's of Infrared" from A to B.
>
>Real Engineers rotate their tires for laughs.
>
>Real Enfineers will make four sets of drawings (with seven revisions) before
>making a bird bath.
>
>Real Engineers' briefcases contain a Phillips screwdriver, a copy of
>"Quantum Physics", and a half of a peanut butter sandwich.
>
>Real Engineers don't find the above at all funny.
>
>******************************************
>
>Have a great day.
>Grandpa. Grandma sends her love.
>
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