Posted on a local hospital bulletin board in St. Petersburg, Florida. ************ M E M O R A N D M ************ DATE: November 1, 1996 TO: All Hospital Nursing Staff FROM: Administrations/Groundskeeping SUBJECT: New Cost-Cutting Measures Effective January 1, 1997, this hospital will no longer provide security. Each charge nurse will be issued a 38 caliber revolver and 12 rounds of ammunition. An additional 12 rounds will be stored in the Pharmacy. In addition to routine nursing duties, charge nurses will patrol the hospital grounds on a rotating schedule. A bicycle and helmet will be provided for patrolling the parking areas. In light of the similarity of monitoring equipment, I.C. will assume the security surveillance duties. The unit secretary will be responsible for watching the cardiac and security monitors, as well as continuing previous secretarial duties. Food services will be discontinued. Patients wishing to be fed will need to let their families know to bring something, or make arrangements with Subway, Dominoes, etc. before meal times. Coin-operated telephone will be available in patient rooms for this purpose, as well as for other calls patients may wish to make. Housekeeping and Physical Therapy will be combined. Mops will be issued to ambulatory patients, thus providing range-of-motion exercise, as well as a clean environment. Families and ambulatory patients may also sign up to clean non-ambulatory patient rooms for special discounts from their final bills. Time cards will be provided. As you can see on the "From" line above, Administration is assuming Groundskeeping duties. If an administrator cannot be reached calling his/her office, it is suggested you walk outside and listen for the sound of a lawnmower, weed eater, etc.. Engineering is being eliminated. The hospital has subscribed to the Time Life "How To..." series of do-it-yourself maintenance books. These books can be checked out from Administration/Groundskeeping and a tool box will be standard equipment for all nursing floors. We will be receiving these books at the rate of one volume every other month. We already have the volume on Basic Wiring, but if a non-electrical problem occurs, please try to handle it as best you can until the appropriate volume arrives. Cutbacks in Phlebotomy staff will be accommodated by performing blood-related tests only on patients who are already bleeding. Physicians will be informed that they may order no more than two X-rays per patient per day. This is due to the turn-around time required by Eckerd Photo Lab. Two prints will be provided for the price of one, and physicians are being advised to clip coupons from the Sunday newspaper if they need extra prints. Eckerds will honor competitor's coupons for one-hour processing in emergency situations, so if you come across any coupons, please clip and send them to the E.D. In light of this past summer's extremely hot temperatures, we have asked the electric company to install individual meters in each patient's room, office, etc. so that electrical consumption can be monitored and appropriately billed. Also, fans will now be available for sale in the hospital gift shop. In addition to the current recycling programs, bins for the collection of unused fruit and bread will soon be provided on each floor. Families, patients and the few remaining employees are encouraged to contribute discarded produce to these bins. The resulting moldy compost will be utilized by Pharmacy for nosocomial production of antibiotics. These antibiotics will be available for purchase through the hospital Pharmacy and will, coincidentally, soon be the only antibiotics listed on the formulary. Your cooperation is appreciated. ----------------------------------------------------------- TRW Spacecraft Operations East 14320 Sullyfield Circle Chantilly VA 22021 (703) 802-1863