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Hello Parkinson List Members! I am "rejoining" the list after almost a year. I am looking forward to gaining much knowledge and advice from this list regarding how to care for and cope with a family member who lives with Parkinson's. Some background: my 68 year old father-in-law has had Parkinson's for 25+ years now. The disease caused him to retire from his own electrical business at a very young age. His wife took over as sole caregiver until her death from lung cancer last December. My FIL has always been a very demanding and selfish person and my MIL put him first in everything. (She HAS to be a saint in heaven now!) My FIL became almost like a selfish, spoiled child because he's always been the center of attention and never had to put the needs of others before his own or follow any of the rules. After my MIL's death, my FIL obviously wanted to stay in his own home as long as he could. We noticed a great amount of confusion and hallucinations developing. We of course attributed a lot of things to the recent loss of his wife. However, my MIL was the one in charge of her husband's medications - to the point where she administered them hourly (or whatever the case may be) and he never had to worry about them. Now we observed that since HE was in charge of taking them on time, right amounts, etc., that he may NOT be taking them correctly. He began to be forgetful and ended up taking too much and too often. A home healthcare nurse was hired for a month or so to come in and stay with him during the evening and overnight hours as this is his most difficult time. He needed assistance getting ready for bed and was always worried about an emergency occuring during the night - so this took care of that. It was then decided that the big 2-story house needed to be sold and my FIL would move into a nursing home. He would have a large suite-like private room in a brand new wing and would be able to have a microwave, refrigerator, etc., etc. so that the move would afford as much of the privacy he was used to as possible. He knew that his wife had wanted him to go to this particular nursing home and his window faces the Senior Highschool across the street where she'd worked for years. In the beginning he had all the priviledges of home that he was used to. He came and went on the local bus system or with family and friends. He had his own checkbook, credit cards, etc., did his own banking, grocery shopping, etc. The medications were being dispensed by the nurses and he seemed to get "back on track" and have a lot of "up" time. Then it all started to deteriorate. He would leave the nursing home and not check out, he'd "lock up" in the mall or someplace and the police would be called, he would try to rewire his stereo, t.v., etc. and would refuse to surrender the sharp tools to the nurses, he would hold conversations with his wife and swear she was in the room. One evening he ordered pizza and when it came - he had no money. He said his wife would pay for it! He would let his phone ring and not answer it - saying his sister (who has been dead for YEARS) would answer it. He'd call his children several times a day and could not be understood as to what he wanted. (His speech has always been really bad - and he attended therapy a year ago and found out that if he used an alphabet chart and pointed to the letter each word began with, it slowed him down considerably and we could all understand him perfectly! He used this as a magic trick and would only apply it when showing friends and family and then refused to use it! He's just very stubborn and self-absorbed.) He was attending an adult daycare at another nursing home for a short while - and then they kicked him out as he was too hard to handle. They said he would take off and try to get out of the transport van while it was moving, etc.! He set fire to 2 microwaves and started calling 911 because he was hallucinating. We had to take away the microwaves and the telephone as well as control of his own money as he would go shopping and not have enough money and would refuse to leave the store without all of the mechandise! At one point, the store manager put it on HIS credit card just so he'd be happy and leave! He tries to run away and escape. He constantly falls down and hits his head - resulting in stitches sometimes and recently a broken arm. My husband took him to Kansas City to a specialist and they admitted him for a week for evaluation and tried to regulate his medications, etc. No real changes occurred. He is now at the point that he is very hard to control and won't listen to the nurses or family members. He still hallucinates quite a bit and is constantly trying to get away. The nursing staff is afraid he'll break a hip next and that will be the beginning of the end. My husband and his siblings are VERY frustrated and are desperate for answers. They are even considering taking away the medication that gives him his mobility so that he's more controllable. HELP! Any suggestions from any of you as to what could be done would be SO helpful! It is very tiring and frustrating. They don't want to take away what little freedom their father has left, but it is becoming a major problem for the nurses, children, and even HE is his own worst enemy! We are afraid the nursing home will be the next to say he has to leave! I hope this doesn't sound uncaring or cruel - it's a very abbreviated version of the last year or so. We are searching for guidance and hope to gain some new information from this list! Thank you so much! We look forward to reading the information this list provides. Tammy Gargano Iowa