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At 11:30 PM 12/2/96 -0500, you wrote:
>    DEAR reader,
>     This is serious so don't delete me just yet! Many of us see ourselves
>as very dependant or totally non-dependant on physicians and other health
>care professionals.[Hereafter referred to as HCP] But many of us find it
>difficult, nay, impossible to talk in a constructive fashion with these
>people who may hold one of the keys to our future. Can you recall being all
>choked up when talking with your physician;so much so that you left the
>appointment without having said what needed to be said? How many of us have
>not spoken honestly with the HCP because we didn't do what they had
>suggested previously or because we didn't want to hurt THEIR feelings.
>[That's up there with my all time favorites] IF you have a moment some time
>would you send me your excuse[s] for not being honest.
>.    Let me say at the near begining that not all professionals are able to
>form a working partnership or the circumstanses don't permit it[ A
>complaint heard with increasing frequency from the managed-care sector.]
>And there may well be individuals with whom you may chose not to form a
>partnership. Out my way there is a Neurosurgeon with whom I have never
>exchanged as much as a hello or been able to meet his eyes in the 25 years
>we have worked on the grounds of the same hospital. I really don't believe
>that he was being rude but rather it was more like I didn't exist. Nope, no
>partnership there.
>
>   SOME IDEAS REGARDING THE DEVELOPMENT OF A PARTNERSHIP WITH OUR
>HEALTHCARE PROFESSIONALS
>       #1 Some of us will need an attitude adjustment.By that I mean that
>there are relationships in which we see our self as somehow the lessor of
>the two.We are not very good or very bright or very understanding of what
>the professional has to say or much too sick to reason or what ever. We do
>not see ourselves in a position to even question what some expert is saying
>to us.What we need to do is to insist on being treated with
>respect/dignity/compassion and clinical and human competence. And this will
>not come our way until we see ourselves as deserving of such and insist on
>it as a condition of consulting with a HCP
>
>      #2 Be prepared to answer a question with an honest response. The best
>of the HCP can't help you if you knowingly mis-state or avoid answering a
>reasonable question. They must have accurate information. If you don't know
>something say so.There is no shame in not knowing. You can always say that
>you will think about the questions and drop them a note or call them when
>you have the answer. One of the nice things about a partnership is that
>there is no place for shame.
>     #3 Be prepared to ask questions.The interview is a two way street and
>how is some HCP to know what is on your mind unless you ask questions. I
>find it helpful to write down the questions in advance. WIth those HCP who
>I know are running a tight schedule I type out my answers to what questions
>I think they will be asking me and list my questions. Usually I find that
>since I took the time they will take the time and read my summary in
>advance ;leaving the allotted time for give and take.
>    SOME SMALL POINTS
>  ON the sheet you have noted your questions leave space between questions
>for the answers
>  Always take a clipboard with you so that you will have a solid surface to
>write on.
>  If you are not up to a lengthy conversation take along some one who can
>speak for you but do as much talking for your self as you can.
>  If you have trouble talking or hearing take along a tape recorder with
>your pre-recorded progress report; or as your ears. It is a lot easier to
>hear when you are back home and you can check on what you thought the HCP
>said. But you are still responsable for your participation in the
>interview.
>Most HCP would be OK with a recorder.If in doubt ask but how could someone
>argue with your having accurate instructions?
>     #4 Try and get to know your HCP by researching their professional
>backgrounds. Most professional groups put out some kind of a directory
>which can be found in most libraries and on the Internet.In Massachusetts
>there is a number which you may call to find out if a physician has any
>history of lawsuits.Again most professional organizations will make that
>information known to someone who has a need to know.
>     And MOST IMPORANTLY you have the right to ask any HCP any reasonable
>question.In a HCP rich city /town etc, if you don't care for one you  can
>find another. But if the HCP is the only game in town then you have a real
>problem; one which I would like to take a look at in another posting. If
>you have any thoughts about that particular problem maybe we can develop
>some "How To" manual assuming that one doesn't already exist some where in
>our archives
>
>        The above noted thoughts on developing a partnership with your HCP
>will work in any setting including as an inpatient.I know. I've done it. My
>thoughts on this matter have evolved over the years both in the role of a
>patient and as a HCP and represent a fraction of what might be said if you
>believe a partnership may be possible with your HCP. Any ideas?
>       And don't forget to send me your excuse[s] for not being  honest
>with your HCP. Via digest is fine unless you prefer to keep the information
>private. You can trust me on that. Believe me. yes sir.
>      By the way there is no truth to the rumor that Jack Savely has moved
>to Colebrook, N.H.[Wink]
>Personally I believed that he did move to Buffalo, N.Y. but I can't talk
>about it so don't ask. OK?
>
> My Very Best
>   george
>      AGANCE
>
>[log in to unmask]
>
>Hi George,

I would like to add my thoughts about some possibilities that effect our
"less then position" when talking with our HCP.  I think many of us feel
that being sick or feeling poorly is related to being bad and consequently,
gulity. I believe this guilt impacts on how we related to others, not only
do we have to acknowlege our dependence, but we have to support the notion
that the HCP really knows something we do not, and if we are nice to them,
they will grace us with some wisdom. We in this country, are not trained to
be equal participants in the healing process. Much of that is our own fault.
So what say we, you and others of our calling present a series of dialoges
on this subject. Perhaps we can get feed back from others on this list? You
started it with your offering, so one might consider what I added, as to be
the invitation from others to comment.

Lets hope so,

Bernie Barber, from the state of an abyss, the GRAND CANYON. :-)>