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St. Peter announced to the crowd milling about the Pearly Gates that he only had room to admit a few more people that day. Only those who had really traumatic deaths would be admitted; the rest would have to wait until tomorrow. St. Peter said to the first man in line, " What is your story? How did you die?" "Well", said the man, " I lived on the 25th floor of a 30 story building. For some time I had suspected that my wife was having an affair. Today I came home from work unexpectedly and I was absolutely positive that my wife's lover was hiding somewhere in the apartment, but I searched everywhere and couldn't find him. Finally I went out on the patio and there was a man hanging by his fingers from the ledge. In my rage, I went over and tried to pry his fingers loose but somehow he managed to hang on. So I ran back into the apartment, grabbed a hammer and struck his fingers until the man let loose and fell 25 floors. However, he landed in some shrubbery and managed to survive. Completely enraged, I ran back into the appartment, picked up the refrigerator and hurled it down on top of the man, killing him. All of this put a strain on my heart and I died of a massive heart attack." "Wow", said St. Peter, "it sounds like you had a really bad day. Go on in." The next man in line approached and St. Peter said, "What's your story?" "Well",said the man, "I lived on the 26th floor of a 30 story building and was out watering the plants on my patio when I slipped on some water and fell over the ledge. I thought I was a goner but somehow managed to grab onto the ledge of the appartment below. A man came rushing out onto the patio and I thought he was going to save me, but instead he started trying to pry off my fingers. I managed to hang on though, until he ran inside and got a hammer. When he hammered my fingers, I let go and fell. Miraculously, my fall was broken by some shrubbery and I survived. I was lying there, dazed, when I looked up and saw this refrigerator crashing down on top of me and I was crushed to death. "Definitely a traumatic death", said St. Peter, "go on into heaven". The next man approached and St. Peter said, "And how did you die?" "Well", said the man, " I was hiding, naked in this refrigerator... .............................................................................. ..................................................... Mary Sheehan