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Mary S.... Interesting point you made about gender differences in communicating. I believe that since the dawns of time, men are trained to be stoic about pain and emotion, and thus today, despite a societal push towards what's called "sensitivity" (and is really just 'letting it all hang out"), a great many men are only comfortable discussing their job, sports, politics and of course, the weather (do you KNOW how many men I've dated who can spend HOURS talking about WEATHER? Heck... we don't even HAVE "weather" here in Southern California!) <grinning>. This doesn't mean men have no depth, but rather that man aren't used to taping into that part of themselves and sharing it with others. Not a crime, just a habit.. Women, on the other hand, have for thousands of years shared the most intimate details of their lives with other women, and even with those men whom will actually sit there and listen. Women are perfectly at ease sitting in a roomful of strangers and discussing in detail the birth of their children, their hysterectomies, their hubby's girl friend <g>, you name it. And women are not uncomfortable crying in front of each other either, because society doesn't frown at that. Then there's the fellas who find themselves living with a chronic disease. They have the choice of remaining stoic, and slowly crumbling inside, or, if they're both lucky AND smart, they find a support group in "real life," or online which permits them to speak up about what they're going thru over the months and years. THEN we end up with what I believe is a bunch of very complete persons (albeit, persons with a chronic disease), many of whom HAPPEN to be men. We get people COMMUNICATING with each other. We get women doing what women have traditionally done (TALK!) and men who are open about their pain, their feelings, their sexuality, and SO much more! We have people examining their emotions and thoughts and then they share those feelings with each other. I wouldn't voluntarily ever take on the miserable burden of living with a chronic disease, nor would I wish it upon anyone. BUT... I'm SO thankful that since I DO have a chronic disease, I've been permitted to get to know, as we do here, so many truly fine people.. with men that have transcended untold generations of training in stoiacism... who SHARE feelings, emotions, ideas, laughter, and even temper (SOME might call those little flair-ups 'personality") with each other. You all have proven to me that we really ARE pretty much alike indside, after we break down those inner walls, and all the boundries society and regional enthnicity has restricted us with. Odd that it should take Parkinson's Disease to do that for us. Barb Mallut [log in to unmask] ---------- From: PARKINSN: Parkinson's Disease - Information Exchange Network on behalf of Mary Sheehan Sent: Thursday, December 05, 1996 10:04 AM To: Multiple recipients of list PARKINSN Subject: Kees' Wall Hi Kees, I have been reflecting on Natasja's "Wall" and wondered if I had been subconsciously erecting walls, as well. I don't believe I have been. I noticed that all of the people who responded to your posting were men (at least, I think so) and I wondered if men, by conditioning or predisposition, are more likely to build protective walls than are women. I know that when I was diagnosed with PD, my husband's first response was, "Don't tell anyone." His reasoning was that my handicap was not as yet noticeable, so I should protect myself from other people's questions, possible pity, etc. by keeping quiet. My response was that I didn't want to build walls between myself and my friends and relatives. I didn't want people wondering what was wrong with me, if they saw a tremor or slowness of movement. I didn't want them to be afraid that I would be upset if they asked about it. Perhaps women are, by nature, more interested in breaking down walls and are more open than men. (I realize that this is a generalization and certainly not true in every case.) I think Natasja showed wonderful insight and creativity in her report. As a former teacher, I would like to say that she deserves an "A". Mary Sheehan