Dear Friends,
As a male caregiver, I can no longer resist commenting on the
ongoing discussion of "sex" on your list. I hope that this will not be seen
as an intrusion into your group but as an addition of another point of view.
Dealing with SDS from both a male and a female perspective is
difficult to say the least. To the best of my knowledge, male patients
ALWAYS becpme impotent and female patients ALWAYS lose their libido. After
nearly nine years of caregiving and celibacy I find myself fantacizing about
sex almost as much as I did in my youth. The only support group here that I
have attended is the Well Spouse organization. In the few meetings that I
attended i found that group totally dominated by female caregivers who
absolutely refused to discuss problems of sexuality. Whenever I tried to
broach the subject I was either totally ignored or the group just changed
the subject.
What I am saying is that the healthy discussion of the need and
desire for the closeness and tenderness expressed during the act of making
love is extremely important to all of us who suffer from or care for someone
who cares for a chronically ill person. We all need to discuss our needs
(of all kinds) or our maillists etc. are not serving their desired purpose.
Having said that, I will continue to support the need for proper
decorum and language. To me, coarse language indicates nothing more than a
poor vocabulary or carelessness of writing.
Thank you again for allowing me to speak. My intention was not to
offend anyone only to express another side of a very delicate subject.
My Very Best Regards,
Don Summers
(Age 64)
