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Don SummersL: Welcome on board. I think most of the members that have responded are in total agreement with you. I think most of the member who responded do not mind learning from us. It is intersting that you also found in your support group that the subject (sex)is hard to discuss. Same as I did. Maybe it is that we are facing each other and on line they are less embarrassad. That is just a guess. Take Care, Henry Guttentag ([log in to unmask]) +++++++++++++++++ Don Summers wrote: > > Dear Friends, > As a male caregiver, I can no longer resist commenting on the > ongoing discussion of "sex" on your list. I hope that this will not be seen > as an intrusion into your group but as an addition of another point of view. > Dealing with SDS from both a male and a female perspective is > difficult to say the least. To the best of my knowledge, male patients > ALWAYS becpme impotent and female patients ALWAYS lose their libido. After > nearly nine years of caregiving and celibacy I find myself fantacizing about > sex almost as much as I did in my youth. The only support group here that I > have attended is the Well Spouse organization. In the few meetings that I > attended i found that group totally dominated by female caregivers who > absolutely refused to discuss problems of sexuality. Whenever I tried to > broach the subject I was either totally ignored or the group just changed > the subject. > What I am saying is that the healthy discussion of the need and > desire for the closeness and tenderness expressed during the act of making > love is extremely important to all of us who suffer from or care for someone > who cares for a chronically ill person. We all need to discuss our needs > (of all kinds) or our maillists etc. are not serving their desired purpose. > Having said that, I will continue to support the need for proper > decorum and language. To me, coarse language indicates nothing more than a > poor vocabulary or carelessness of writing. > Thank you again for allowing me to speak. My intention was not to > offend anyone only to express another side of a very delicate subject. > > My Very Best Regards, > > Don Summers > (Age 64)