Hi Gang:
One or two of you mentioned yesterday that you had received personal pitches
from Ron Amos. Mine came overnight (12/8/96). I'm posting the message I sent
to Ron for everyone's information.
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Ron (or whoever you are):
I am a 53-year old PWP.
I have been a professional writer (advertising, marketing and business
communications) for more than 30 years, so I can spot a formula sales letter
faster than you can say, "very touching testimonial."
Would you like to learn about the mistakes you made in your personalized
email to Parkinsonians? No matter, I'll clue you in anyway.
Mistake #1: If your testimonial letter writer actually developed all of the
symptoms he describes over a period of four years, he receives my vote as the
idiot of the decade. Any sane person who recognized all those things were
going wrong with his body would rush to the nearest doctor. But your guy
waited four years! And you want me to listen to this yahoo's advice about a
product I'm supposed to put inside my body!
I may have Parkinson's and I may be past 50, but I'm not crazy.
Mistake #2: People with Parkinson's tend to be very educated concerning the
disease and the medications used to treat it. At the very least, they know
how to spell the names of the two most common Parkinson's drugs: Eldepryl and
Sinemet --- not "Elderpryl" and "Cynamet." This leads me to believe that
Joe Marsh is a product of your creative skullduggery and that you failed to
research the topic properly before you wrote "Joe's" letter.
Mistake #3: Don't make claims so outrageous that your product can never meet
expectations. Let's see, now, according to our hero Joe, the following
occurred after he began using your product:
* Nearly all of his Parkinson's symptoms disappeared.
* He directed a project that brought a train line to his city.
* The train project saved the tourist industry.
* The train project sucked in $30 million dollars.
* The train project solved unemployment.
Wow! I'm impressed! Maybe if I took Pycnogenol every day I could balance the
federal budget, eliminate crime, keep inflation under 4%, discover life on
Mars, and allow every citizen to win the lottery at least once in their life.
(Actually, I would settle for a formula that would keep me from being
constipated.)
Mistake #4: Don't repeat Mistake #3 and make your claims even more
outrageous. My God, Ron, do you really believe Parkies are so stupid we would
fall for a closing line like:
"owe their very existence to Pycnogenol."
I am posting this letter on the Parkinson's Disease Information Network today
(12/8/96) so that all subscribers will be aware of your tactics.
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Stan Houston (53/5)
[log in to unmask]
Cat Spring, Texas 78933
