The following is a little bit of Americana....perhaps the first hand
account of the first "Parkie Olympics", by a retired "snake oil
salesman."
Perhaps the ingredients of the "Chill and Argue Eliminator" are found in
Birkmayer's (NADH), Mexican Yam Cream (DHEA), or Pychogenol...not to be
lost by succeeding generations.....:)))
The WPA Life Histories Collection
The Arkansas 'Shakes'
DATE November 9, 1938
SUBJECT MEDICINE SHOW TALES: "THE ARKANSAS 'SHAKES'."
1. Ancestry William D. Naylor American; probably Irish descent
2. Place and date of birth
New York - 72 years old
3. Family
Apparently has none
4. Places lived in, with dates
Could not learn
5. Education, with dates
Seems to be principally in the "school of hard knocks"
6. Occupations and accomplishments, with dates
Carnival, medicine Show and "pitch-[man?]"
7. Special skills and interests
None that I know
8. Community and religious activities
Unknown
9. Description of informant
Mr. Naylor is a man well preserved. 72 years of age, smooth-
shaven, weight about 145 pounds (5'7"). Quite gray but not bald.
[Has a pleasant though a?] bit cynical facial expression. Rather
serious but an evidence of humor and somewhat repressed. His
eyes are a light brown. In personal appearance as to dress is
neat although it is obvious his suit has done service for a long
time. See report of October 20th for further details.
"One of Doc. Porter's most powerful and popular Kickapoo Indian
medicines, that we used to sell when I was with his medicine
show, was his 'Chill and Ague Eliminator.' It was put up in a
square pint bottle and Doc guaranteed that two bottles would
drive out the worst case of chills on the market. Whether it
would or not I don' know. But I do know it was mighty potent and.
...bitter.
"I think it was probably a straight "emulsion" of quinine and
whiskey and the directions told the 'patient' to take enough of
it before his chill started to make him go to sleep.
"Doc's theory was, no doubt, that if a person about to have a
chill could be gotten drunk enough to go to sleep he'd sleep
through his chill period and if he did have one in his sleep,
he'd never know he had it when he waked up and naturally think
he had missed it entirely and was cured!
"Doc's medicine was strong but it wouldn't have worked on the
kind of chills people got down in the Ozark country of Arkansas,
South Missouri and over in the Indian Territory where I spent a
lot of time in the carnival business and exhibiting 'dancing
turkeys' and other things at country fairs.
"Down in that country people didn't call chills and ague,
'chills and ague'; they called it the 'shakes.' And that was the
right name. For when a man with the 'shakes' started to shake ,
he shook! He couldn't stop shaking till the chill was over.
"There were two kinds, the 'every-other-day shakes," and the
'every-day shakes.' I had both kinds. They started on me as the
every-other-day kind and after a week or two turned into the
every-day kind, then switched back and forth that way, first one
sort and then the other till I finally got rid of them.
"The 'shakes' Were so common in the Ozark country along back in
the 1890's, about the time the Star [Gang?] was being busted up
in the Indian Territory and Al [Jennings?] was holding up the M.
K. T trains, that practically everybody would have them some
time or other.
"And people would talk about their 'shakes' with a sort of pride,
something like a lot of people like to talk in these later days
of their 'operations' after they've been to the hospital and had
something cut out. The harder a man shook when he had the
'shakes' the prouder he seemed to be!
"That 'vanity of affliction," you might say, brought about one
of the queerest contests that was ever pulled off, I suppose. To
me, and I saw it, it had frog-umping matches, horn toad races,
cock-roach fights, and all that stuff beaten a mile.
"It was out in the Arkansas River bottom-lands country not far
from Van Buren, during the fall of 1897 or 1896, If I remember
right. Anyhow, I know it was in the fall for two reasons, first
because the fall was when people had most of their 'shakes,' and
the pecans were ripe. Pecans, you know grow naturally on the
river bottom lands down in that country and the harvest of nuts
adds quite a bit to the incomes of the natives who shake them
down out of the trees and sell them.
"There were a couple of brothers-in-law, had married sisters,
who lived on adjoining farms and like is sometimes the case
among country people they suffered from a sort of mutual
jealousy. Their names were Toliver Green and Hank Breckenridge.
Each thought his hound dogs were better than the other's hound
dogs; that his hogs grew faster and fatter, his cow gave more
milk, his mule could kick harder, or he could shoot a squirrel
out of a taller tree with a single ball rifle, or excell in some
other way--and the result was a continual boasting when together.
"They both happened to got the 'shakes' at the same time and it
happened too, that their chills ran on the same hourly schedule
and would hit them at about the same time each day.
"Toliver Green vowed that the chills he had were the hardest
chills any man in Arkansas ever had or ever could have;
Breckenridge had the same opinion and made the same boast about
his own 'shakes.'
"The result was that they agreed to match 'shakes' and Green
challenged Breckenridge to 'shake' it out in a pecan tree!
Each was to climb a pecan tree just as his chill was about due
to start and see which shook the tree cleanest of pecans before
it was over...
"The 'shaking match' took place in Tolivar Green's pasture in
the Arkansas River bottoms. It was well advertised and a big
crowd of natives came to see it. An old Justice of the Peache (I
don't recall his name) was to judge the contest.
"Although it was my 'chill day' too, I went out to see it and it
was one of the queerest contents I ever witnessed.
"Green and Breckenridge picked out a couple of good tall pecan
trees; each climbed his tree, straddled a limb, wrapped his legs
around the trunk of the tree and started to shake ...and after
each started he couldn't stop till his chill had run its course.
"Well, at first those darned pecans began to sort of dribble
down out of the trees, like slow rain or hail, then as the
chills got to work in earnest and speeded up Green and
Breckenridge's 'shakes' the pecans were coming down in a regular
machine-gun {Begin deleted text} tatto {End deleted text} {Begin
inserted text} {Begin handwritten} tattoo {End handwritten} {End
inserted text} as they hit the ground.
"It lasted for an hour and then each climbed down...and there
wasn't a pecan left an either tree! So, the old Justice of the
Peace declared it a draw...and that's they way it ended. It was
kind of funny seeing those two leather-[cheeked?] farmers up in
those pecan trees with the 'shakes', the pecans raining down on
the ground...I was sort of glad Doc. Porter's 'Eliminator'
[log in to unmask] That man may last, but never lives,
Who much receives, but nothing gives;
HomeBoy #Parkinsons Whom none can love, whom none can thank,--
Creation's blot, creation's blank.
John Cottingham Thomas Gibbons (1720-1785): When Jesus dwelt.
