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I thought we needed a little laugh: >Subject: Stimulating Comments > >> 1. I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous >> and give the wrong answers. >> >> 2. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother. >> >> 3. The hypothalamus is one of the most important parts of the brain, >> involved in many kinds of motivation, among other functions. The >> hypothalamus controls the "Four F's": >> 1. fighting; 2. fleeing; 3.feeding; and 4. mating. >> -- Psychology professor in neuropsychology intro course >> >> 4. What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the >> unfit, to do the unnecessary. -- Richard Harkness, >> The New York Times, 1960 >> >> 5. Slogan of 105.9, the classic rock radio station in Chicago: " Of >> all the radio stations in Chicago...we're one of them." >> >> 6. With every passing hour our solar system comes forty-three >> thousand miles closer to globular cluster M13 in the constellation >> Hercules, and still there are some misfits who continue to insist that >> there is no such thing as progress. -- Ransom K. Ferm >> >> 7. Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change. >> >> 8. Applying computer technology is simply finding the right wrench to >> pound in the correct screw. >> >> 9. The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" >> The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" >> The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it >> cost?" >> The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries >> with that?" >> >> 10. Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had >> years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make >> some of the worst movies in the history of the world. >> -- Dave Barry >> >> 11. I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian >> because I hate plants. -- A. Whitney Brown >> >> 12. A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely >> rearranging their prejudices. -- William James >> >> 13. Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of >> tapes hurtling down the highway. -- Andrew Tannenbaum >> >> 14. We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom >> that is in it - and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits >> down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot >> stove-lid again---and that is well; but also she will never sit >> down on a cold one anymore. -- Mark Twain >> >> 15. There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in >> the streets? >> -- Dick Cavett, mocking the TV-violence debate >> >> 16. If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving >> an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without >> even considering if there are men on base. >> -- Dave Barry >> >> 17. I am sick unto death of obscure English towns that exist >> seemingly for the sole accommodation of these so-called limerick >> writers -- and even sicker of their residents, all of whom suffer from >> physical deformities and spend their time dismembering relatives at >> fancy dress balls. -- Editor of the Limerick Times >> (Limerick, Ireland) >> >> 18. When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl. >> >> 19. Lazlo's Chinese Relativity Axiom: No matter how great your >> triumphs or how tragic your defeats---approximately one billion >> Chinese couldn't care less. >> >> 20. 668: The Neighbor of the Beast >> >> 21. Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather >> straps. -- Emo Phillips >> >> 22. Writing about music is like dancing about architecture. >> >> 23. Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a >> mistake when you make it again. -- F. P. Jones >> >> 24. Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to >> learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their >> apparent disinclination to do so. >> -- Douglas Adams, _Last Chance to See_ >> >> 25. As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not >> important that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying >> me so much money. What's important is that you continue to do so. >> -- Hunter S. Thompson's Samoan Attorney >> >> 26. When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, >> a woman in the audience stood up and said, "Yes, but is it the God >> of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't >> believe?" -- Quentin Crisp >> >> 27. Boundary, n. In political geography, an imaginary line between >> two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the >> imaginary rights of another. -- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary >> >> 28. I think that all right-thinking people in this country are sick >> and tired of being told that ordinary, decent people are fed up in >> this country with being sick and tired. I'm certainly not! But >> I'm sick and tired of being told that I am! -- Monty Python Henry Guttentag