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Barb Mallut's situation--2 daughters, no sons--is the same as ours, and I find many similarities in their responses. I have come to believe that a cer tain amount of "avoidance" is a self-protectivemechanism that our adult kids use to defend against the knowledge that dad and mom are really mortal, and so of course are they, themselves. One thing I've begun to do is to send them a written report of Peter's current condition, covering all areas of daily living and not pulling very many punches.(I also sent copies to his two brothers,who live in the east, and to whom he always says,"FINE!" when they ask on the phone how he is. (I did this with his approval, of course.)They girls are loving and concerned, but clueless as to what daily life is like. At present he won't allow them to help in any way. So it's up to me to give them a small dose of reality, and prepare them for the future. Have others tried is? this or something similar? I think it's a human reaction, not gender relat ed, even though men in our culture have more trouble sometimes dealing with openness about feelings. Camilla Flintermann,CG for Peter 78/7,Ohio