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Dear Fellow PDer's........... I have had PD for 7 years now.....And lately, the battle has been a tough one.........I have fought taking anti-depressants for quite a while but since the tears seem to put Niagra Falls to shame I believe now is the time to relent to the "ALmighty Neurologist" mode of thinking and pop them suckers........... But I wonder, will they do any good if I open up my PD list and have to deal with all the whining and bickering? I cant believe how stressed out I feel after reading all the letters about who said what and who did what............. I have promised myself that 1997 will be a better year........But I am the only one who can make it better for me.......I know I will need to continue to rely on the support of others but ultimately only I can take my meds and do what will make me feel better........Isnt that what it's all about? Easy words to say....easy words to type........but will I be as strong as I need to be? I know I am going to stumble along the way.....(isnt that what we Parkies do best?) But I know there will be a friend or two to pick me up, dust me off........and place the appropriate foot to the keester to send me on my way.......And one of those friends will be David Boots.......And if he needs me, I'll be there for him too...... We all have folks that mean a lot to us because of their friendship........I hate PD but am VERY thankful to have made friends w/those who have it......... No matter what, it's a personal battle.....friends and family can only do so much........... How about a better year for the Parkie List? A year where we focus on what needs to be done to fight this damn disease? I am so tired of my personal battle.......I dont want to witness anymore battles here please.........I think if we all could follow the examples of Jim Cordy and Sherrie Caves and Mary Yost we could make this a year where PD is no longer considered an old folks disease.......I will be the first to admit I need help in my battle..........I know the only way to get it is to battle politicians, battle neurologists, battle that voice inside my head that says "why bother trying".............but do we need to battle each other on here? I hope not......I need to drop my negative thoughts in order to carry on.....how about the List drop it's negative thoughts too.....It wont be easy for either one of us I am sure....... I have a New Year's wish.......As we all fight our personal battles with PD, we dont lose sight of the fact that maybe we are stronger as a group w/individuals with varying opinions than as a group who feels opinions have no right to vary........I feel better for writing this.........I hope I can carry that good feeling with me for a while anyway...... "Until the Zoloft kicks in"........Nicole Gall.....Age 36, symptoms 7 years, "finally" diagnosed 5 yrs ago....and ready for a change (for the better)