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Marling.... You have TWO diseases (at the very least, and not counting any others you've been "blessed" with) when you have Parkinson's... PD is the primary one and generally depression, born of the PD is the second. They tend to play on each other.. almost tease each other to see which will make you bow down ad cry "I QUIT" first! In the end, it really makes no difference which one of 'em wins, because either way, it means YOU lose. It really bothers me to think that you're prepared to be a loser. I liked the funky melodrama and feistiness (is that a real word?) <smile> I saw in you when you first posted here. in fact, you reminded me of ME! <giggle> I kinda figure you're just feeling sorry for yourself right now. THAT is fine... acceptable... NORMAL.. for any one of us to feel. But in my opinion, settling for being a "loser" to Parkinson's Disease and/or depression sure ISN'T fine! Please, please... reassure me that you've just had a crummy day (or week, or month...whatever) and that you're not going to "settle," and let the BAD GUY win! AND... if you're not already taking a mild anti-depressant, I suggest you investigate doing so immediately. You'll find a HUGE number of us on the PD list benefit from taking 'em regularly. By the way, some of us start 'em after a lot of kicking and screaming, but STILL end up taking the darn things because it 's one additional helpful thing we can decide to do for OURSELVES! By making your OWN decision to beat depression by taking an anti-depressant, you're thumbing your nose at the disease(s) and saying "THIS time.. I WIN!!" Huggles at ya.... Barb Mallut "Lil_Honey" on the PD Chat [log in to unmask] ---------- From: PARKINSN: Parkinson's Disease - Information Exchange Network on behalf of Marling McReynolds Sent: Tuesday, January 07, 1997 12:32 AM To: Multiple recipients of list PARKINSN Subject: Re: Public Perception I noted in a book in my Neurologist's office the statement that PDers seemed more embarressed by their tremor than any other tremor suffers. The author could not understand this. I thought about it for quite a while, and came to the conclusion that the reason I get upset about my tremor in or out of public is that it is a reminder of what I have--PD. It is a reminder that this is not just a tremor, but a progressive condition and that it will get worse. It is a reminder of where I will end up eventually and I hate to be reminded of it, especially in public. Sometimes people stare when my hand starts to tremor, but for the most part I live in a small community. The people here are my friends and long time acquaintences. When they ask, I tell the truth, and they feel sorry, but want to help. And usually ignore it from then on. Worse than my hand tremor is my leg. I go to many meetings, and almost everytime my right leg will begin to tremble. I must hold it with my other leg, or let it tap. Sometimes, people must think I am listening to music they cannot hear. Oh yes, one more thing. Congratulate me. I have developed my FIRST EVER Hemroid! My depression is back, with a vengence. I have been thinking of not taking anything and letting the PD get me now, rather than waiting. Any suggestions as how to keep my spirits up,or whereever they are supposed to be.??.. PD forever or until a cure is really found>>>>>> Marling McReynolds Director SHCRC the People Center mail: Box 2017, Redway, CA 95560 77 Avenue of the Giants phone: 707-923-5220 fax: 707-923-5221 e-mail: [log in to unmask]