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Camilla..... You commented: " Facing PD daily--alone--is an act of such courage" In my opinion, facing PD alone... as in the case with we singles having the disease ... is NOT an "act of courage." It's just "life." The COURAGE part enters into the picture with what we DO with our respective lives while we go through the course of our day-to-day existence. Just because we're single doesn't mean we're FURTHER handicapped, as tho "being single" itself was ANOTHER disease on top of the PD which we're forced to live with. Ain't so! It doesn't take any particular act of "courage" to live one's life as a single person. In fact, all things considered, Camilla, SOME might think that it takes LOTS more "courage" to be MARRIED <grinning> or in a couples relationship than it does to be single! Being single doesn't mean we wakeup each day confronted by some terrible bogeyman named "SINGLE, "who's just waiting to pounce on us and hound us throughout the rest of our day. And being single with PD is the same. IF I'm conscious about the PD, almost always it's ONLY the PD-related that I think about. And every once in a while the two... having PD and being single.. converge just as having PD and other things that happen in my life do upon occasion. Being single is generally NOT simply some terrible "accident" that just "happened" to those of us who are single. BECOMING single for me was MY "act of courage." It was a CONSCIOUS CHOICE fourteen years ago, after a twenty year marriage to a man who'd ill-treated me emotionally, while at the same time committed such acts, for monetary gain, that earned him a spot on TV's "60 Minutes," PLUS an arrest, while having three nervous breakdowns during the ten year time span in which these events took place (I cannot believe I've encapsulated all those sad years and awful events into a few brief sentences...) <staring blankly at monitor for a few moments in reflection>. Being single was a welcome RELIEF to me. The struggle to support my then young teenaged daughters with no alimony or child support was a relief compared to being wealthy and married as I'd been. Permitting myself to FINALLY grow up and mature was a relief. And rediscovering that I was an attractive and desirable woman who was capable of loving anew and BEING loved in return was also a relief... and a joy. Above all, recognizing that I liked and trusted most men DESPITE what I'd been thru at the hands of ONE man, was my "act of courage above all others." In my years as a single woman, I've come to understand and treasure the fact that men in general are "just people" like myself, facing the same things in life that I face - whether good or ill - and that only the man I was married to was the anomaly. Finally, being single, in middle age, is not my choice any longer. Being single and desiring to be married or part of a couple WHILE having Parkinson's (or any chronic disease) IS perhaps an act of courage, because one faces rejection, BUT... let's face it.... even THEN it's not the intrinsic core of ones self... our "heart" that is being rejected, it's only... ONLY the disease that is. I might take it personally if what I liked best about myself was rejected outright.... but the PD? Rejected? Well HELL... I reject it TOO (like IT cares?) <rueful smile>, so how can I fault another for doing so? Barb Mallut "Lil_Honey" on the PD Chat [log in to unmask] ---------- From: PARKINSN: Parkinson's Disease - Information Exchange Network on behalf of Camilla Flintermann Sent: Saturday, January 11, 1997 6:55 AM To: Multiple recipients of list PARKINSN Subject: Re: a strange thing response To Margie, Beth, and other single PWPs--your comments are, of course, right on target....while we who are CGs protest that out kids(adult ones, too) don't really get the picture, we at least are not "al-one". If family/friends are strongly into a level of denial , as seems the case with Marling's son at times, we can at least have some hope of educating them gradually, and we can speak for the PWP if advocacy is needed. One thing I've done as Cg for Peter lately was to write a page of notes about " where he is" at this point --activities of daily living, meds, the works. I was pretty frank---and I sent it to our two adult daughters(who live here) and his 2 brothers who are at a distance. I included them because when they call and ask how are you, he always says, "fine"! I've noticed since then that there seems to a little more awareness of reality on the part of all of them. P. was OK with my doing this, and he has now been more honest with them, too--so I guess it helped. Maybe the al-one PWPs could consider something like this--at intervals-- to help the "Significant Others" in their lives be more connected? Facing PD daily--alone--is an act of such courage: we see it in the man in our support group here who made the NH video. A big hug to all of you! Camilla Flintermann,CG for Peter,78/7,Oxford,OH [log in to unmask]