Good day,
This from one of the humor lists. BTW, being joyfully politically
incorrect, I whole heartedly agree with this. This tickled me. Maybe it
will you too.
Jeff long distance, part/time CG for Becky, Seattle, WA
[log in to unmask]
The Original Version:
The ant busts his hump in the withering heat all summer long, building
his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's
a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or
shelter so he dies out in the cold.
The New Liberal Version:
It starts out the same but when winter comes the shivering grasshopper
calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be
allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC, and ABC show up and show pictures of the shivering grasshopper
next to film of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with
food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can it be, in a country of
such wealth that this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Then a
representative of the NAGB (The National Association of Green Bugs) shows
up on NightLine and charges the ant with "Green Bias" and makes the case
that the grasshopper is the victim of 30 million years of greenism.
Kermit the frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries
when he sings "It's Not Easy Being Green."
Bill and Hillary Clinton make a special guest appearance on the CBS
evening news and tell a concerned Dan Rather that they will do everything they
can for the grasshopper who has been denied the prosperity he deserves by
those who benefited unfairly during the summer, or as Bill refers to it, the
"Temperatures Of The 80's".
Finally the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Greenism Act"
RECTROACTIVE to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing
to hire a proportionate number of green bugs, and, having nothing left to
pay his Retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of
the ant's food while the government house he's in....which just happens to be
the ant's old house.... crumbles around him since he doesn't know how to
maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow. And on the TV; which
the grasshopper bought by selling most of the ant's food, Bill Clinton is
standing before a wildly applauding group of Democrats announcing that a
new era of "Fairness" has dawned in America.
**************
"You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift. You cannot
strengthen the weak by weakening the strong. You cannot help the wage
earner by pulling down the wage payer. You cannot further the brotherhood
of man by encouraging class hatred. You cannot help the poor by
destroying the rich. You cannot build character and courage by taking away
a man's initiative and independence. You cannot help men permanently by
doing for them what they could and should do for themselves."
--Abraham Lincoln
