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At 08:05 PM 1/13/97 -0500, you wrote: >Good day, > > This from one of the humor lists. BTW, being joyfully politically >incorrect, I whole heartedly agree with this. This tickled me. Maybe it >will you too. > >Jeff long distance, part/time CG for Becky, Seattle, WA >[log in to unmask] > >The Original Version: > > The ant busts his hump in the withering heat all summer long, building > his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's > a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. > > Come winter the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or > shelter so he dies out in the cold. > > The New Liberal Version: > > It starts out the same but when winter comes the shivering grasshopper > calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be > allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving. > CBS, NBC, and ABC show up and show pictures of the shivering grasshopper > next to film of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with > food. > > America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can it be, in a country of > such wealth that this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Then a > representative of the NAGB (The National Association of Green Bugs) shows > up on NightLine and charges the ant with "Green Bias" and makes the case > that the grasshopper is the victim of 30 million years of greenism. > Kermit the frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries > when he sings "It's Not Easy Being Green." > > Bill and Hillary Clinton make a special guest appearance on the CBS > evening news and tell a concerned Dan Rather that they will do everything they > can for the grasshopper who has been denied the prosperity he deserves by > those who benefited unfairly during the summer, or as Bill refers to it, the > "Temperatures Of The 80's". > > Finally the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Greenism Act" > RECTROACTIVE to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing > to hire a proportionate number of green bugs, and, having nothing left to > pay his Retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government. > > The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of > the ant's food while the government house he's in....which just happens to be > the ant's old house.... crumbles around him since he doesn't know how to > maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow. And on the TV; which > the grasshopper bought by selling most of the ant's food, Bill Clinton is > standing before a wildly applauding group of Democrats announcing that a > new era of "Fairness" has dawned in America. > > ************** > > "You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift. You cannot > strengthen the weak by weakening the strong. You cannot help the wage > earner by pulling down the wage payer. You cannot further the brotherhood > of man by encouraging class hatred. You cannot help the poor by > destroying the rich. You cannot build character and courage by taking away > a man's initiative and independence. You cannot help men permanently by > doing for them what they could and should do for themselves." > > --Abraham Lincoln >A fine piece of prose by Mr. Lincoln - before going to bed tonite this will help me go to sleep. More please... Fell