>
> Funnily enough, the slight uncertainty is part of my own psychological
> armoury against PD: I have an inner determination to show these medical guys
> that they were wrong all along, and I think this helps me keep a fighting
> spirit. Intellectually I think I've accepted that they are probably right,
> but emotionally there's a stubborn part of me that wants to prove that they
> don't know what the hell they're talking about. ME?! HOW COULD I POSSIBLY
> HAVE PARKINSON'S? DON'T BE RIDICULOUS! I'LL SHOW YOU!
>
> A few months ago I was offered a PET scan (Positron emission tomography, with
> doped 18F DOPA), which is one of the only ways to get a positive diagnosis
> (and very expensive - but health care is free in the UK!).
Tim
Your story strikes me, because it shows knowing and not wanting to know can in
such a strange way be present together. It is like a reaction I once had when
my bike was stolen. He was not at the place I had left him. That couldn't be
true. I thought: I close my eyes and when I open them again he will be there.
But it did not work.
My mind did yet stranger things when it was my health that seemed to be stolen.
I felt yet some months lousy, when on my job somebedy told me she worried about
the health of her friend. She told me which symptoms made her worry and hoped I
would think she was a hypochondriac. I did not but said her worry was to the
point and her friens should consult a neurologist. A week after that she told
me her friend had a brain-tumor.
On my way home in the train my mind thought(so it seemed) if you would now ask
yourself should I worry about my health I would say:"you have to see a
neurologist". The conclusion:" so I have to do that" was not made. And it would
last half a year till I was forced to.
It was of course very stupid to deny to that extent, because it could have been
dangerous.
I hope you'll be able to keep off med's a long time, but with meds PWP's can
have many good years. During that time the possibilities of treatment will be
enhanced.
Besides, you have like me, the privilege to live in a country whith health care
for everyone.
Ida Kamphuis
Holland
