Henry's problem is somewhat like mine. My devious solution, not for everyone. I seem to have some strong, or stronger than I, personalities in my family. My experience with my mother was to call the doctor directly, and discussed the problem that my mother was having. The problem was that she would not quit taking pain killers. When the doctor saw another side of things, not only her side, he promptly worked with her and that was the beginning of the end of the pain killers. The woman would not listen to me, her daughter. This is not unusual I guess for people to ignore the people that love them the most. I had to go around her to help get the problem solved. Paul and I had tried everything, confrontations, gentle persuasion, nothing swayed her, and that was the only thing left to do and we did it because we loved her and wanted the best for her and it worked. The other time I called the doctor without the patient knowing was when my father my folks were divorced) was having health problems. I only let the doctor know we were concerned about my dad. When my father died suddenly there was no record of "next of kin" except that phone call to the doctor. >From then on we took care of my invalid step-mother. We did this for over seven years and it was a true blessing for us all. It took a lot of courage for me to do these things, but they were definately for the best. So I think it pays to be sneaky sometimes if one has to. Jan cg more than once.