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At 12:57 AM 1/28/97 -0500, you wrote:
>Dear Camilla and members:
>You never fail to guide so correctly. You seem to be the shining light on
our channel or listserv.
>
>My wife will be coming back Saturday from Detroit. I am planning to meet
with my children on the evening
>before. Yes Camilla, united we should stand, but I am not sure we have
total unity yet for reasons shown below.
>
>
>My wife called and asked me to fill the Artane prescription she had
overlooked. She filled all other
>prescription properly, but evidently missed the Artane. I had the
prescription filled and Fed X'd it overnight.
>
>That was last fri. since I spoke to her. We have not had any communication
since then. Since then I found out
>that she has been in touch with my daughter in law twice, discussing and
wondering who is picking her up upon
>her return. She tells my daughter in law that she wants me to pick her up,
however she will not ask or call me.
>
>Tonight when my son (who lives with us )came home he confessed that he
spoke to my wife Fri., which he did not
>want to tell me,because he did  not want to repeat to me what my wife had
said. He went on to suggest that I
>should pick her up only to keep peace. My wife (his mother) had told my son
not to volunteer to pick her up,
>thus assuming that I will be there.
>
>My daughter in law of course is willing to pick her up but it will kill her
and her husbands ( my son's)
>Saturday evening.
>
>I just hung up with my sister in law in Detroit and I had to promise her
that I would not tell my wife that I
>have spoken with her. Everybody seems to be so afraid in this family.
>
>My concern is that I can not look for total support from my oldest son. He
seems to be blind to the reality we
>are living under. He agreed that it is wrong for mother, not to ask her
husband first. He understands that I am
>walking around having been hurt so many times just within the last four weeks.
>I suggested to Steve that he could have said very nicely to his mother
"Mother if you want Dad to pick you up
>you must talk to him. Do not have me be the constant messenger".
>
>She has such a control over him and all other relatives and me. As her
regular doctor told me the other day,
>the control will only get worse.
>
>I said to my Steve that I will not pick her up if she elects not to ask me.
Her only method again is through
>the children. He of course did not agree with me. I pleaded for his support
but did not get anywhere because he
>fears confrontation if I do not pick her up.
>
>I hope my other son will be stronger and support me more. All of us will
still meet Fri., as I said, and I can
>only pray for a positive outcome.
>
>What do you or anybody think is the proper approach?????
>
>Thank you for your support.
>Henry Guttentag

Henry
Here's my response to this dilemma.  Go pick her up Henry.  We have been
married for 40 years and my husband says that he does not know me yet... and
he says he never will.  This is women for you.  Forgive our silly romantic,
confused brain... Guess what?  Our children are smarter that we give them
credit - they know their Mom because she raised them... Fleurette