At 12:57 AM 1/28/97 -0500, you wrote: >I suggested to Steve that he could have said very nicely to his mother "Mother if you want Dad to pick you up you must talk to him. Do not have me be the constant messenger". > >I said to my Steve that I will not pick her up if she elects not to ask me. Her only method again is through the children. He of course did not agree with me. I pleaded for his support but did not get anywhere because he fears confrontation if I do not pick her up. > >I hope my other son will be stronger and support me more. All of us will still meet Fri., as I said, and I can only pray for a positive outcome. > >What do you or anybody think is the proper approach????? > Henry, believe me, I can totally empathize with these types of manipulative family discussions. You were right to suggest to Steve that your wife speak to you directly. I'm not sure if this is the right idea, but maybe you could give her a call to ask if she wants you to pick her up? This could be an example of open communications for everyone..... Lena Holmes parttime caregiver for Ilmi 74/2 Oakville, Ontario, Canada [log in to unmask]