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I am Irish and living in France and my father is 67 and has been a PD
sufferer for more than 15 years now. I would like to just relate a little of
my experiences with my parents. As I don't live in Ireland I am often racked
with guilt for not being able to contribute more. I have one older sister
living in Dublin and often the strain of being the only one at home falls on
her.

I realise that every day must be a living hell for my father but I think
that he can do a lot more than other PD sufferers, he can get out of bed,
dress by himself, make his own breakfast (my mother is a teacher and not yet
retired) etc although it takes time and he is particularly stiff in the
morning, as he is late at night.  Life is also difficult for my mother, who
has always been extremely independent and used to doing her own thing. Now
she finds herself being completely responsible for my father and this is not
easy for her. So far, we 3 sisters have taken turns going home and staying
with my father during holidays to let her go away and have some time to herself.

What I would like to know from other people involved with PD sufferers is,
am I wrong to feel resentful of my parents ?   All my friends have succeeded
in growing up and away from their families and my sisters and I (I'm 29)
cannot make this break because of my fathers illness. The problem is that
when we go home, our parents sit back and let us or expect us to do
everything. The thing that I resent most is that this is my holiday time but
yet it feels like I'm working. Then I feel guilty for feeling this way.  My
partner tells me that I should make the break with my parents completely and
not allow them to push me around but I then I resent him for telling me what
I'm already thinking.

Another thing is that I also try to encourage my father to take some
exercise, even if its just a short walk, which I think might help instead of
just sitting in front of the tv all day, but he is reluctant to do this and
I think that he is afraid of getting stuck somewhere and not being able to
get back. My mother also makes a big deal when they go anywhere about how
slow and nervous he is getting in and out of restaurants, cinemas etc.  I
feel that sometimes her attitude seems to make him worse.  She also shares
all her criticisms of my father with us which I find really hard to take and
try to let her know but it doesn't seem to make any difference.

And the last thing is, both my parents are obsessed with illness. They are
quite good about being interested in alternative therapies such as
meditation (which helps my mother a lot), bioenergy, herbal remedies etc
which helps the PD, but their reaction to something like a small common cold
is over the top. Also, every time I call home my mother gives me an update
on her health, latest cold, cough, stomach bug whatever. Its as though she
doesn't want my father to have all the attention being the ill one.  As a
result, the rest of us are just the same and I constantly worry about having
a major illness, dying, or getting PD myself. I suffered from panic attacks
a few years ago and both of my sisters have had similar nervous problems.

If anyone has any similar experiences out there, I would like to hear them
or am I just a selfish daughter ?



Una Markey
ASTRO training
Cisco Systems Paris
Tel : (33) 01 69185232
email : [log in to unmask]