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Those of you who are familiar with the Parkinson village in the depths of Middle England will not be surprised to learn that to relieve mid winter boredom and depression when it rains every day and the mists swirl round the bare skeleton like trees, they get up to some strange antics -- no with apologies not sex--that was just a cunning little ploy by your roving reporter to penetrate the hubub who despite a rudimentary knowledge of the human psyche knows that when the word sex flashes on the screen even the prudes will not use the delete button until they have had a little peek.So its 'No sex were British' - did the show ever get to Broadway ?-and the dissapointed can leave now before the proper subject of this message is revealed which is -----'HOW WE REALLY ARE' A few weeks ago a meeting of the Sports and Entertainment Committee was held and it decided to promote Golden Parkie Awards for services to the Parkinson Internet community.Besides the publicity value for Parkinsons world wide it was thought that the entertainment aspect could raise valuable funds for the Parkinson village.Naturally a sub committee had to be set up to investigate this proposal further and ever ambitious the first thing they did was to write to the Pope asking him if he would like to be patron of the Awards and participate in the first presentations which would of course take place in the village in August 1998. A reply is still awaited from his Eminence. Amongst other business the Golden Awards committe set up yet another sub committe called The Research committee to investigate the current status of Parkinson on the Internet and in particular our Parkinson list. The village school teacher who was on the committee offered as an educational project in numerancy skills to get the kids to analyse 1000 consecutive postings on the list and this revealed some interesting information tabulated below; Number of messages Number of senders 1-4 154 5-9 24 10-19 16 20-29 4 30-39 2 40-49 3 Total number of senders 203 Most prolific senders Mallut 48 messages McReynol 49 CArva 45 Members of the research committte have found it interesting that in this recent series of 1000 postings when many different topics have been discussed there would appear to be 1247 lurkers (1450 minus 203) 1450 being the total numbers on the As we were most recent list.It was suggested that possibly Parkies suffer from a Peeping Tom syndrome.Members have been discussing various classes of awards and it is thought that the greatest interest will be generated in a proposed award for the writer of the greatest number of messages which would encourage a much larger volume with a gradual climb to 200 a day by early 1998.In the village betting shop they are already quoting odds on the winner of this award and the Parkinson Arms is fully booked for August 1988 even though room prices have been doubled.This soap may be continued.