In a message dated 97-02-03 11:38:00 EST, you write:
Kathleen - You wrote:
>
>I have mixed feelings about my interference with this personal part of his
>life. I don't want to be a pest and yet I still feel somehwat responsible
to
>make sure that he at least finds out more about the condition and what his
>treatment options are. I'm planning to bug him at least long enough to get
>him into the neurologist's office, offer to go with him and provide
emotional
>support, and then if he balks at ongoing visits and/or treatment, I think I
>should back off and not invade any further.
I think that's exactly the right approach, and you are very astute in
determining that this is the point at which you back off for awhile. You'll
probably find that somewhere down the road your involvement is needed again,
but for now, take a well-deserved break and allow your father to deal with it
in his own way.
I hope the neurologist can convince your father that PD isn't the same
horrible living-death sentence that it was when your grandfather had it. My
guess is that's your father's fear. I think the approach many doctors take
when dealing with a newly diagnosed PWP (person with Parkinson's) is to deal
with the current symptoms and not discuss future symptoms that may develop.
However, because your father already has a much-too-vivid picture in his
mind of future symptoms, I think you should be sure to bring that to the
doctor's attention so that he can reassure your father. He (your father)
needs to hear that there are drugs available to treat the symptoms he fears,
that new drugs are being added to the PD armamentarium at the rate of several
a year, and that there are even surgeries available if at some point way, way
down the road, he should ever need it.
(Well, I'm not sure about the surgery part - you'd have to be the judge of
whether that would be reassuring at this point).
> I would welcome your
>thoughts/suggestions on this and would ask that you please be gentle with me
>if you feel I've already invaded too much. It hasn't been easy nagging him.
I think your father is extremely lucky to have you on his side, and I know
your mother is grateful for your help - if perhaps a little annoyed that
he'll listen to you, but not to her.
You can tell her from me (I speak as the wife of a PWP) that that's normal.
One further thing you can do to help that won't be intrusive but will show
your continued caring and concern is to copy articles from this list that
would be of interest to him and send them to him. And don't forget the
archives - they're a wonderful source of information.
Good luck to all of you. Keep us posted. Margie Swindler
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