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Samuel P Goldberg wrote: > = > i am a share giver and am the end of my rope i am now living on sleepin= g > pills and now after seeing doctor yesterday my blood pressure has hit t= he > top ,have never h=E5s a blood pressure problem am a senior citizen an= d my > wife is now in her eight year i have a companion for her 5 days a week = 10 > to 4 p.m. but after that and the week end its holy terror .i have now = been > at the share giving over a year and findiong that i just cant handle it= . > am i been selfish ? cant iunderstand what she is going thru? have tried= > many avenues seeking help but nothing thus far..anyone out there plea= se > come to rescue Thank u. > = > Sam Sam, = I am only a long distance parttime caregiver, but I can understand and empathize with your position. My dad has had PD for 15+ years and needs constant care. My mom provides it with some help during the week and home health aide three days a week. I really worry about the toll it takes on her and sincerely believe she will literally kill herself caring for him and then we will have to look for a nursing home. = I realize this may sound sexist, but I think it is even more difficult for men to be caregivers. Women are taught the role from childhood and we mother families and care for aging parents, etc. Many of us are nurses and teachers, etc - ALL CAREGIVERS. Men don't carry that responsibility as often. = Sam, first I think you need a support group to help you deal with this all and if not then a therapist who can assist you. It sounds like you need to find some respite care - a respite care home that does round the clock care so you can sort things out. You did not describe your wife's symptoms, meds, etc. Often another neurologist's opinion is helpful. = Something that many caregivers want to avoid is looking at nursing home care for the PWP, but sometimes it is the only answer. With the help of a therapist, neurologist, and family members, you should at least look into this. I believe that when one person is the sole caregiver, they should be prepared with the nursing homes they consider adequate to care for their spouse in case of illness or other problems with their ability to give care. = I firmly believe to survive caregiving one must take care of self. Do you have other family members who could relieve you occasionally. Think of all the options and write them down. I get frustrated because my mother has church members, friends, a brother, etc. who would help if only she would ask for specific things they could do. = You are in my prayers and thoughts now. Are you a member of the Caregivers listserv. If you tell us where you live, perhaps someone can help with a support group, therapist, etc. = Aloha, Gail -- = Gail B. Post, RN,MS,CSN Maryknoll Schools = Honolulu, HI 96822