Ivan....
One thing I've noticed about the members of this List is that folks don't
really seem to care one way or the other if anyone is part of a minority, be
it religious, ethnic, gay/lesbian... even LAWYERS! <grin> (That's a joke,
people)
I believe you're not seeing the real issue here and that is we are ALL alike
when we have Parkinson's. I dont' give a rat's ass whether you're gay or not.
I don't care if your blue and tattooed! I couldn't' care less if you worship
a tree or an invisible entity, or if you worship anything at all. But I DO
care that you're life is burdened with the this awful disease.
I suggest you consider that there may be others in our PD List community who
are gay/lesbian who just don't see the relevance in bringing that up in a
group which is together because they have PD, not because of their sexual
orientation... I'd hope they WOULD feel free to mention that if they felt a
reason to do so...
EACH of us on this List is unique, Ivan. And each of us will be on Oprah
(should we ever make it that far) as INDIVIDUALS... Individuals who have one
thing in common.... PD. If you are affectionate towards your partner, that in
no way reflects upon me or my own sexuality, nor upon anyone else's, OR upon
our having the same disease. In my opinion, you're making an issue of what
appears to me to be a non-issue, at least as far as PD and Oprah are
concerned.
One last thing, Ivan. Last year you posted here on the list about being gay
and it barely caused a ripple. THIS year you've posted the same information
once again, and other than a few "No biggee, live and be well" messages (and
any you may have received via email, which of course, we're not privy to), the
general response here has been "Ho hum." I urge you to consider that it MAY
be that most of us just don't CARE what anyone's sexual orientation is.. or
maybe we're just all too damn lethargic 'cause of the PD to make a big stink
over it.
Either way, Ivan, if you're "getting any", consider yourself lucky, 'cause
most Parkies seem to be born again virgins! <g>
Barb Mallut
"Lil_Honey" on the PD Chat
[log in to unmask]
----------
From: Parkinson's Information Exchange on behalf of Ivan M Suzman
Sent: Sunday, February 23, 1997 1:40 AM
To: Multiple recipients of list PARKINSN
Subject: GAY PWP's are EXCLUDED!
>From the midwinter desk of Ivan Suzman ([log in to unmask])............
Dear listmembers,
Thank you all who have written so far, and shared your feelings about
my proclaiming my GAY sexual orientation to our listmembers..
There are many reasons why it is ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY for me to IDENTIFY
myself as GAY to the Parkinson's List......
Here are just two examples:
1. OUR PUBLIC IMAGE ON THE OPRAH WINFREY SHOW
In the last few wonderful weeks, mostly thanks to the DEDICATED
work of Stan Houston and Barb Mallut, we have teasingly, but also very
seriously, begun our first effort to be visible on the OPRAH show.
Could the sight of two men holding hands in loving support of each
other , a PWP and his CG, and REPRESENTING us on OPRAH, make the
Parkinson's world recoil in internal turmoil? Would our Parkie style of
propriety, especially in this age of Udall Bill work, discriminate
against us same-gender partners??
WE talk about being VISIBLE, but the heterosexual PWP 's and CG's
are burying the thousands of GAY Parkinsonians. An obvious fact supports
this:
I AM THE ONLY GAY PWP who feels safe enough, so far, to be open about my
sexual orientation. Ask yourselves why this is happening...............
If I, as a gay, younger (47), blue-eyed blond, bearded PWP, held
on to, or hugged, or gently kissed his very cute, special, 32 year-old
male friend ON THE AIR, and while REPRESENTING OUR PWP COMMUNITY, that
behavior would be perfectly natural for me. But a lot of our
listmembers would probably, I am disheartened to say, find this behavior
to set off red flashing sirens, screaming," out-of-bounds!" Is this
fair???
These expressions of love and support, SO acceptable in the hetero
world, would probably be the source of an outcry of "OH NO, DON'T LET
THIS BEHAVIOR REPRESENT US!"
So, listmembers, what do you feel is acceptable? Please be honest.
I already know from at least one message sent to me after I had said,
like Barb Mallut had also said with an excitement that had me in stitches
with laughter, that I MIGHT enjoy seeing a man wearing a kilt (I didn't
say anything to suggest I would pursue dear Jeremy Browne!), that the
Parkinson's Community has never confronted the homophobia that pervades
and divides us from one another..
And unless we are open about our worries, we cannot move towards a
consensus.
2. CAREGIVER IMAGE
If you look through the MAGAZINES AND FOUNDATION REPORTS on
Parkinson's (at least what I've seen), we GAY and LESBIAN Parkinsonians
have NEVER EVER been shown with our CAREGIVING PARTNERS, as role models.
....It's no wonder gay and lesbian PWP's and CG's are hiding. WE ARE
STILL EXCLUDED.
ANd that EXCLUSION hurts us.
So, I must pursue this, because I feel like I am a lone voice for
thousands of creative GAY and LESBIAN PWP's and CG's who are completely
INVISIBLE.
We have so much to give to our whole community, but will you let us do
that for the benefit of all, while meanwhile not pushing us into the
closets of the world??
So my question is, WHAT PUBLIC IMAGE OF PWP's AND THEIR
CAREPARTNERS is comfortable for you?? What public image is unacceptable
as a role model of our common battle?? Again, PLEASE be honest.
..............................................................................
............................................................................
"The world is like a spider's web---touch it anywhere, and it quivers
everywhere"
Ivan Suzman
47/10 Portland, Maine
land of lighthouses
and, "Proud-to-be-gay!"
..............................................................................
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