On Mon, 24 Feb 1997 10:19:00 -0500 "Arena, Arla L."
<[log in to unmask]> writes:
>The more I tend to read about this Oprah show thing the more it is
>starting to bother me. Some of
>you seem to feel that getting on this show is just a lark. Maybe
>before
>any of you embark on your "lark" into daytime tv you should see my
>dad.
>He is 76 and is very near the end of his battle with life and with
>Parkinson's. His rigid, twisted yet still shaking body is shutting
>down
>a little more each day. I can't remember the last time I could look
>into his eyes that they were not filled with tears. Maybe the calling
>for more research funds should be left to those who can handle it with
>dignity, not use the show as a soap box for homosexual recognition, or
>as Mr. Stan wants to show all the things that parkies can do making it
>look like Parkinson's is just a "lighthearted" disease and not all
>that
>serious. Maybe if you were nearly 80 years old like my mom and a full
>time care giver to someone as seriously stricken with Parkinson's as
>my
>dad is you would consider the chance to go on national television as a
>hope for the future, as a hope for more research, as a hope that
>people
>who have never even heard of Parkinson's will now hear about it and
>understand its needs, as a hope that someone else may not suffer as
>much as my dad is suffering now. Parkinson's is not a joke, it is not
>an
>inside track to homosexual foreplay on national television, it is not
>what type of fancy clothes to wear...it is an insidious, painful,
>horrible disease that sucks the life out of once vital, beautiful men
>and women.
>Stop using may Dad's suffering and many more suffering like him for
>your
>selfish interests on national television.
>Arla L. Arena
>Natrona Heights, PA
>From the desk of Ivan Suzman, gay, young-onset PWP,
Dear Arla and listmembers,
I am very sorry to read your hearfelt post about what is going on
with your dad, and I sympathize with you and your mom. I know, from the
trials I go through after 10 years in PD's grip, how strong and real
your frustration and pain can be as you both go through watching your
dad's weakening.
Your dad's situation is exactly the kind of tragedy that reinforces
why we PWP's who are not quite so bad off yet should push to get on
Oprah. But I feel that you are OVERLOOKING that like your Dad, I ,
too, am face-to-face with the same fears and devastation that your Dad
is experiencing. Only, in my case, the battle began at age 37, and I am
a minority-group member.
I try to be upbeat and positive, but when I see thinking which
threatens to disrupt our UNITY as PWP's and CG's united in a common
struggle, a response is needed.
.
In my original post, I was inquiring about the comfort level we
listmembers have if a younger, gay male PWP and his caring male
caregiver appeared on Oprah. I NEVER stated that I would think of using
Oprah for "homosexual foreplay," nor would I go on Oprah with the idea
that being there would be a "lark." A televised display of sexual
foreplay is as UNTHINKABLE for me as it would be for a heterosexual
PWP and his or her CG or partner.
Phrases like "homosexual foreplay" are off-the-wall and
anti-gay, and back people like me into corners. If YOU were a member of
my minority group, you would be very upset if your behavior were
described so FALSELY.
Some of the listreaders have gone haywire because they don't
understand what life is like if you are a gay man. Those of you who
have jumped to attack me have not recognized that Tom is one of seven
visiting caregivers., NOT my partner. I am single, and he is there for
me just like you and your mom are for your dad.
Gay men are much freer to give hugs, in an uptight society. Hugs
are NOT sex. we are no more promiscuous than anybody else.
So, in my mind, the issue boils down to TOUCH. Why are you
people so hung up and jealous if two friends give each other a hug, or
hold each other's hand, on Oprah.?? When we touch, it is the
appropriate touch that any CG and PWP might have!!
.
I don't want to take up more time than necessary with the
"GAYS are EXCLUDED" topic, because I, too, think that it is only one
element of the larger picture of the horrible struggle we all go through.
Unfortunately, there is rampant homophobia on the Parkinson's list, as
you all now can see, and we on this Parkinson's list need to SUPPORt ONE
ANOTHER, AND NOT ATTACK.
I really KNOW how to behave, and to be chastized, accused,
and labelled does not heal the gulf between gays and heterosexuals. I
should think that if we REALLY want to have an Oprah show on Parkinson's,
we should be very grateful to Harpo Productions if they allow it into
Oprah's very busy schedule, NO MATTER WHO REPRESENTS US.
I for one do not need to be on Oprah, but will be glad to
represent us as best as I can, if I am called. Gay people are not
heterophobic. I only wish that EVERYONE on this list would learn to be
more tolerant of the only gay PWP on this entire list who tells you that
we are more diverse than you planned.
Arla, I will be thinking about you, your mom and your dad,
and hope things improve for you somehow.
God Bless,
Ivan Suzman
47/10 Portland, Maine land of lighthouses 15
deg F/ BBRRRR.
