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In a message dated 2/26/97 6:22:36 AM, you wrote: << I only wish that EVERYONE on this list would learn to be more tolerant of the only gay PWP on this entire list who tells you that we are more diverse than you planned. >> Ivan, This is a gentle admonishment (not an attack or a flaming). Maybe I've missed something, but I thought the postings on the list were very supportive of you. I didn't see anything that I would consider homophobic. Every message I saw said that he or she respected your choice and welcomed your input on the list. (You, of course, might have gotten some email privately that I'm not aware of.) << In my original post, I was inquiring about the comfort level we list members have if a younger, gay male PWP and his caring male caregiver appeared on Oprah. ....... A televised display of sexual foreplay is as UNTHINKABLE for me as it would be for a heterosexual PWP and his or her CG or partner.>> If my memory is correct, you asked how people felt if you held hands with your male friend or hugged or kissed him. I think people were replying to your question honestly - they would be uncomfortable. An Oprah Show on the topic of Parkinson's Disease is not the place to demonstrate gay pride. As Oprah often says, "That's another show!" We need to keep our eyes on our goal and not get distracted by other issues. I don't think anyone objected to your stating that you're gay, since that's a part of who you are. << Some of the listreaders have gone haywire because they don't understand what life is like if you are a gay man. Those of you who have jumped to attack me have not recognized that Tom is one of seven visiting care givers, NOT my partner. I am single, and he is there for me just like you and your mom are for your dad. >> Well, there I guess I did misunderstand you. I thought you and Tom had special feelings for each other. You seemed to give that impression, even sending him a valentine via the list. << Gay men are much freer to give hugs, in an uptight society. Hugs are NOT sex. we are no more promiscuous than anybody else.When we touch, it is the appropriate touch that any CG and PWP might have!! >> I can't imagine anyone objecting to a heartfelt hug. Hugs are not confined to gay men. Here in California, everyone gives and gets lots of hugs. If I were to be on the Oprah Show, you can be sure that both you and your male caregiver would get a hug from me. << I really KNOW how to behave, and to be chastized, accused, and labelled does not heal the gulf between gays and heterosexuals. >> Ivan, please do not see a gulf where perhaps only a little dip occurs. People only said they would like you to behave appropriately. You say you know how to behave. Good! We're in agreement. Now let's all go have some milk and cookies and take a nice nap. By the way, Ivan, I love your weather reports from Maine. In Northern California it's sunny and about 70 degrees. Daffodils and freesias are in full bloom and the flowering fruit trees are splashes of pink and white. Can anyone tell me what to expect weather wise in Australia and New Zealand in mid-March and early April. We'll be vacationing there soon. Mary Sheehan