Marling....
Following is something to tickle your funny bone 'cause it sure sounds like
another chuckle wouldn't hurt ya. It's coming to ya with a warm, but gentle
hug, and lots of love.
Barb Mallut
-----------------------------------------
Cost Containment and the Unfinished Symphony
The president of a large managed health care facility also served on
the board of his community's symphony orchestra. Finding that he could not
go to one of the concerts, he gave his tickets to the company's director of
health care cost containment. The next morning, he asked the director how he
enjoyed the performance. Instead of the usual polite remarks, the director
handed him a memo which read as follows:
The undersigned submits the following comments and recommendations
relative to the performance of Schubert's "Unfinished Symphony" by this
city's symphony orchestra as observed under actual working conditions:
A. The attendance of the conductor is unnecessary for the public
performances. The orchestra has obviously practiced and has the prior
authorization from the conductor to play the symphony at a predetermined
level of quality. Considerable money could be saved merely by having the
conductor critique the orchestra's performance during a retrospective peer
review meeting.
B. For considerable periods, the four oboe players had nothing to
do. Their numbers should be reduced and their work spread over the whole
orchestra, thus eliminating peaks and valleys of activity.
C. All 12 violins were playing identical notes with identical
motions. This is unnecessary duplication: the staff of this section should
be cut drastically with consequent savings. If a large volume of sound is
required, this could be obtained through electronic amplification, which has
reached high levels of reproductive quality.
D. Much effort was expanded playing 16th notes or semi-quavers.
This seems an excessive refinement, as most listeners are unable to
distinguish such rapid playing. It is recommended that all notes be rounded
up to eighth. If this is done, it would also be possible to use trainees and
lower grade musicians with no loss of quality.
E. No useful purpose would be appear to be served by repeating with
horns the same passage that has already been handled by the strings. If all
such redundant passages were eliminated, as a determined by the utilization
review committee, the concert would have been reduced from two hours to
about 20 minutes, resulting in substantial savings in salaries and
overhead. In fact, if Schubert had addressed these concerns on a cost
containment basis, he probably would have been able to finish this symphony!
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From: Parkinson's Information Exchange on behalf of Marling McReynolds
Sent: Wednesday, February 26, 1997 6:15 PM
To: Multiple recipients of list PARKINSN
Subject: Re: humor
Barb M., George, Stan, et al,
You are wonderful people!
If you ever get any more messages to remove or even control or curb your
humor----JUST SAY NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please understand my spelling and typing have been effected greatly by many
things, especially the PD and pain.
As you know I was diagnosed over a year ago, but I knew that I had PD nearly 3
years ago. I was so scared of having a doctor confirm what I knew and
dreaded.
Maybe, If no doctor said it, it would go away----HA HA---no such luck.
About a month ago I developed great pain in my left hand. Since my PD is on
the
right (hand,arm, and leg) I was upset. I now have no strength nor much grip
in
either hand.
I went to the doctor, he said maybe I have 'tennis elbow', without playing
tennis for the last 20 years. He put me on anti-inflamitories (ibuprophine).
They did nothing.
Then he consulted my neuro about puting me on pain killers because the pain
now
was so terrible that it caused me to cry, scream, and otherwise vent on nearly
everyone I came in contact with, and had absolutely scared my children (grown)
to death.
