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I cannot resist sending this out and taking advantage of a list-owner's privilege! A. (Thanks to Elza Tiner for sending it along!) ============================================= >The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered! > >The element, tentatively named Administratium, has no protons or >electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. However, it does >have 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons and >111 assistant vice neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. >These 312 particles are held together in the nucleus by a force that >involves the continuous exchange of meson like particles called >morons. > >Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be >detected chemically as it impedes every reaction with which it comes >in contact. According to the discoverers, a tiny amount of >Administratium caused one reaction to take over 4 days to complete >when it would normally occur in less than 1 second. > >Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately 3 years. At this >time it doesn't actually decay but instead undergoes reorganization in >which assistant neutrons, vice neutrons, and assistant vice neutrons >exchange places. Some studies have shown that the atomic mass >actually increased after each reorganization. > >Researchers at other laboratories indicated that Administratium occurs >naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points >such as universities, government agencies, large corporations, and >schools. The element can be found in the newest, best-appointed and >best-maintained buildings. > >Scientists point out that Administratium is known to be toxic at any >level of concentration and can easily destroy any productive reactions >where it is allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to >determine how Administratium can be controlled to prevent >irreversible damage, but results are not promising.