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Marling.... I thought about your question a bit before responding as what had been a heretofore vague personal observation began working it's way to the forefront of my mind... Like you, I'm single, date, and think about sex as well as feel the desire for it upon occasion both in relation to the men I date - if there's an attraction - and just "in general." But when I date I don't just go to bed with a man on a whim. There HAS to be a passage of time since our first date to permit desire and affection to grow, and a strong attraction as well as desire before that'd ever take place on MY part, at least... so the actual DEEDS are few and far-between, 'cause all that just doesn't automatically happen. Basically, BEFORE I felt really "Parkinsonian," I didn't sleep around casually, but thought about sex and desired it. After I began to feel real "Parkie-ish" I still feel the same way towards sex and desire, but added into that is the thought that "What if I were to enter into a long term relationship, i.e., marriage, with someone I've grown to love - would I want to give him the dubious honor of turning into a caregiver?" Before anyone rushes in at this point to add their two cents about how the choice SHOULD be his.... yes, I agree. However, in a dating-type situation, as affection grows that is NOT AT ALL based upon my having Parkinson's on the MAN'S part (I know - because I've asked some of the men I've dated). It's very much based upon all the other components and dynamics of what brings two people together long enough to permit love to grow, and not even so much as ONE man has yet given any thought to what comes AFTER we're an 'item," in regards to the possibility of my condition further degenerating and thrusting both of us into a somewhat different relationship than had originally been anticipated. The longer I've had PD (and I've had it 21 years) the more conscious I become of the above when I begin dating a fella. I recently started dating a man I genuinely like and respect, who I've already told about my having PD, tho haven't yet gone to bed with him. This is not because the desire isn't there, but because not only does he have law practice but teaches law at a local university 4 nites a week, plus has 2 teenage sons living with him. I work full time, and have a female roommate and I'm sensitive to HER feelings about what it'd be like if there was love-making going in the bedroom next to hers with all that is included in that (faking a becoming blush) <grin>, so there's ALSO a "logistic problem!" <this is worse than when I had two teenage kids daughters at home!> (giggle) We've managed to get together once or twice every weekend for the past month, and have talked on the phone daily for the past two months. But this cannot be described as a "typical 90s 'fast-food' courtship," by any means, which in my opinion is a PLUS (albeit a sexually frustrating one) <smiling> because it's permitted us the luxury of TIME - time to get to know each other before going to bed together. We're going out this evening, and I plan on bring up both the "logistics problem," AND the "probable future caregiving situation" with him, because it feels right to do this now... but it's going to be tough!! (but heck.. I'll do it anyway!) All that said, it's much harder to even THINK about dating nowadays, as it's harder just going out ON a date - takes longer to get ready to go out, to clean the house enough to make it what I consider to be "presentable," and to even feel DECENT enough to go out. There's ALWAYS the temptation to just shrug and say, "It's not worth it to me." But so far, I fight that instinct as I know it is healthy to go out, be with people - or a person - and to enjoy life as much as is humanly possible, given my living with a degenerative neurological disease. ALL this goes on in my mind BEFORE ever becoming physically intimate with a man. ALL this goes on in my mind as I grow towards emotional intimacy with a man. So I ask you.... with all THIS running 'round my mental track, WHO has time for SEX? <groan> Thank God for vibrators! <major blush> Barb Mallut "Lil_Honey" on the PD Chat [log in to unmask] ---------- From: Parkinson's Information Exchange on behalf of Marling McReynolds Sent: Saturday, March 08, 1997 8:53 AM To: Multiple recipients of list PARKINSN Subject: Re: Antw: Female sexuality and sinemet Am I the only one on the list or with PD who has had the opposite reaction? Since I have been on meds my sexual awareness and desire has increased greatly. This is even more frustrting being single and living in an are where there are a limited number of opportunities. I guess I am just the 'odd woman out'. Don't forget how to laugh. Marling [log in to unmask]