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Hi Barbara Mallut <[log in to unmask]>, you wrote Lady, do you EVER know how to choose your words. I've been sitting here, leaking badly, not able to see the screen properly, and murmuring to myself (& you) "I know! Yes, I KNOW!!!" The last few months I've gone through the trauma of putting my Mum in a nursing home, and visiting her, knowing it's not where she wants to be, but unable to meet her (unspoken) need. It's made even more scary by the knowledge that I am helpless now and will probably be so later (in my own nursing home - when other people will be taking my decisions for me. Trouble is, pain's NOT a BAD THING! It tells me I'm still alive, still caring, if nothing else. I wish there were really answers! Love to you and all the other lurkers. -- Jeremy Browne - [log in to unmask] Shaking Hands BBS - +44 (0)1252 626233 - Fidonet 2:252/160