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HI: My name is Suzanne, I am 28 and the youngest daughter of Adam, age 66, who has Parkinson's and Alzheimer's, both in the advanced stages. I was subscribed to this list server several months ago but had to unsubscribe due to some personal stuff. Let me tell you a little about why I have rejoined. I found so much understanding and compassion here that I had to find my way back. My father is dying. He hasn't eaten more than 3 bites of food in almost 4 weeks. He can barely talk, and when he does it's a whisper. He is merely but a shell of the vibrant man he once was. He does not walk and hasn't for longer than I can remember. He is totally bedridden and dependent on my mother for every little thing. Even though he should be in a long-term care facility, he is at home. My mother, age 61 with high blood pressure, works herself ragged. But it is truly a labor of love. I shudder to think how hard my father's illness has been on her. I am losing a giant of a man, my lifetime hero, but she is losing her husband, her lifetime love. My father's illness came on gradually...before he turned 50, I think. He elected early retirement because he knew something was going wrong. It started out easily enough, (ie, losing his keys, forgetting thing, etc) but then he got lost driving home to the house he'd lived in for 20+ years. He was so clever about masking it, and we were so clever at overlooking things that were staring us in the face. I cannot pinpoint the moment when we realized just how bad he was but eventually we did. He ended up in Houston's Methodist Hospital, raving psychotic and hallucinating. He was in desperate need of help. With the right medications, he did okay for a while. But then, he worsened. The nature of both diseases, Parkinson's and Alzheimer's, are ravaging and they claimed my father's mind. The one thing that he treasured most. In his earlier life, he was an MIT grad, full of ideas and vibrance for living. Now, he doesn't even recognize the woman who bore him 5 children. It's hard to watch him fade, very hard. I haven't even been able to cry about until today when I saw the funeral home information sitting on my mother's kitchen table, like a catalog or something. They say that he may last another month. Maybe not even that long. I think he's willing himself to die. He won't eat. He won't allow us to get him a G-tube. The quality of his life is non- existent. He is ready to leave this place. I am getting married in 3 weeks and I have instructed my family to call me home if something happens to my dad while I am away. I feel incredibly guilty even going in the first place. I should also mention that I am bipolar and this has taken a real toll on me, and I am fighting the depression that is just around the corner. Thanks for letting me unload. I am glad there are people who understand. Suz** Suzanne Silva, Greg Bordelon and Jonathan Kimball, age 8 [log in to unmask] Houston, TX My personal homepage is located at: http://www.netcom.com/~suzsilva/fragilex.html