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To my friends (I don;t think I have any foes): As a former Research Analytical Chemist, I was particularly pleased to get this information from my good friends Mark & Conne R., and I am just as desirous of sharing it, FYI. Enjoy! Michel ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------- >"WOMAN" : A Chemical Analysis > > Element: Woman > Symbol: Wo > Discoverer: Adam > Atomic mass: Accepted as 53.6 kg, may vary from 40 - 200kg > Occurrence: Copious quantities in all urban areas > >Physical properties: > > 1. Surface usually covered in painted film > 2. Boils at nothing, freezes without any known reason > 3. Melts if given special treatment > 4. Bitter if incorrectly used > 5 .Found in various states, ranging from virgin metal to common ore > 6. Yields to pressure applied at correct points > >Chemical properties: > > 1. Has great affinity for gold, silver and a range of precious stones > 2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances > 3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason > 4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increases by saturation in alcohol > 5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man > >Common uses: > > 1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars > 2. Can be a great aid to relaxation > 3. Very effective cleaning agent > >Tests: > > 1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state > 2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen > >Potential hazards: > > 1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands > 2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations > as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other > > >WARNING: > >PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE PHYSICAL, MENTAL, >AND FINANCIAL DAMAGE >