^^^^^^GREETINGS FROM^^^^^^^^^^
Ivan Suzman 47/10 [log in to unmask]
Portland, Maine land of lighthouses 55 deg. F tulips about to open
***********************************************************
Hi Barb,
I noticed in one of your collagen posts that you are going to be a
bit "horse" after the cow collagen is inserted in your larynx!
Does this mean equid-like whinnying will emerge post-op? Or did the
post from my kitty, Winnie, cast a spell, so that you'll be Winnie-ing?
Or maybe, DEEP down, you are a Saggitarius?
Anyway, GOOD LUCK with your surgery and keep us posted!
IVAN S.
On Mon, 12 May 1997 15:14:18 -0400 Barbara Mallut <[log in to unmask]>
writes:
>Oh JEEEEEEEEZ, Ivan! EVERYBODY knows the EASY way to give a kitty a
>pill is
>to just clamp your little fur-friend in a vise, have two or three
>really good
>friends who wouldn't mind a few scratches standing by to hold open
>kitty's wee
>mouth, shove that pill down kitty''s throat, and RUN LIKE HELL!!
><giggle>
>
>Barb Mallut
>[log in to unmask]
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: Parkinson's Information Exchange On Behalf Of Ivan M Suzman
>Sent: Sunday, May 11, 1997 11:40 PM
>To: Multiple recipients of list PARKINSN
>Subject: Humor:How to Give Your Cat a Pill
>
>^^^^^^GREETINGS FROM^^^^^^^^^^
>Ivan Suzman 47/10 [log in to unmask]
>Portland, Maine land of lighthouses 50 deg. F tulip buds
>reddening
>********************************************************
>Dear friends,
>
>I am buried in the diabetes survey work, and came up for air to share
>this with you. With love from my kitty, Winnie.....
>
>Yours,
>Ivan Suzman
>
>
>HOW TO GIVE YOUR CAT A PILL by Peggy Althoff
>
> 1. Grasp cat firmly in your arms. Cradle its head on your elbow,
>just
>as if you were giving baby a bottle. Coo confidently, "That's a nice
> kitty." Drop pill into its mouth.
>
> 2. Retrieve cat from top of lamp and pill from under sofa.
>
> 3. Follow same procedure as in 1, but hold cat's front paws down
>with
> left hand and back paws down with elbow of right arm. Poke pill
>into its mouth with right forefinger.
>
> 4. Retrieve cat from under bed. Get new pill from bottle. (Resist
> impulse to get new cat.)
>
> 5. Again proceed as in 1, except when you have cat firmly cradled in
> bottle-feeding position, sit down on edge of chair, fold your
>torso
> over cat, bring your right hand over your left elbow, open cat's
> mouth by lifting the upper jaw and pop the pill in - quickly.
>Since
> your head is down by your knees, you won't be able to see what
>you're doing. That's just as well.
>
> 6. Leave cat hanging on drapes. Leave pill in your hair.
>
> 7. If you're a woman, have a good cry. If you're a man, have a good
>cry.
>
> 8. Now pull yourself together. Who's the boss here anyway? Retrieve
>cat and pill. Assuming position 1, say sternly, "Who's the boss here,
> anyway?" Open cat's mouth, take pill and...Oooops!
>
> 9. This isn't working, is it? Collapse and think. Aha! Those
>flashing
> claws are causing the chaos.
>
> 10. Crawl to linen closet. Drag back large beach towel. Spread towel
>on floor.
>
> 11. Retrieve cat from kitchen counter and pill from potted plant.
>
> 12. Spread cat on towel near one end with its head over long edge.
>
> 13. Flatten cat's front and back legs over its stomach. (Resist
>impulse to flatten cat.)
>
> 14. Roll cat in towel. Work fast; time and tabbies wait for no
>man-or
> woman.
>
> 15. Resume position 1. Rotate your left hand to cat's head. Press
>its
> mouth at the jaw hinges like opening the petals of a snapdragon.
>
> 16. Drop pill into cat's mouth and poke gently. Voila! It's done.
>
> 17. Vacuum up loose fur (cat's). Apply bandages to wounds (yours).
>
> 18. Take two aspirins and lie down.
>
