Print

Print


In a message dated 97-05-19 10:05:40 EDT, Walt writes:

<< It's unfortunate when people use sarcastic mean-spirited put downs. Yes,
 put-downs such as telling  me to leave ....>>

Yes, Walt, it is disheartening when people respond in a hurtful way.  As I
was monitoring the gold they were weaving for you, I had an urge to
contribute how I feel about this, and now that your Hornet's Nest posting is
up, I have decided to do so.

The people on this list have impressed me previously as being exceptionally
positive in their attitudes and supportive in their actions.  That made the
replies to your preference for political activism all the more disturbing.
 The instantaneous response of "like it or lump it"/"if you're not for us
you're against us"/"love it or leave it"/"just go away"/"how dare you try to
change things" is terribly divisive and serves as a scary example for anyone
else daring to suggest change.  It is especially hurtful to be attacked for
one's intellect.

I feel the basic message of, "That's an idea, but count me on the list of
those who do not wish to emphasize political activism," could have been made
without the personal negativity.  Suggestions along the lines of the other
list that uses Topics--or some other ideas entirely--would be another way of
signalling an acceptance and support of you for having an idea while not
endorsing it as a wholesale change.  There are so many ways of drawing a
circle that encompasses us all.

Now, the tone of your original message may have seemed too strident for some.
You might want to re-read your outgoing letters three times, using a
different tone of voice each time, to see how likely it would be for people
to misinterpret your underlying intent and emotional state.  And you could
try prefacing it with, "I know this could sound violent, but it isn't
intended that way.  Please read it without emotion and let me know what you
think of the content."  Your first message may have generated fear that the
social character of the list was in jeopardy. I know that I would not wish to
see the back-fence nature of this list dramatically altered, but I am open to
those smaller
changes that might benefit parts or all of the subscribers.

I dislike Parkinson's, but I love our all being in this together.  I have a
feeling the messages are already getting gentler.

Deanne Charlton
[log in to unmask]