Maybe the following will brighten things up a bit. I received the
following a friend and don't know the source.
Jeff
[log in to unmask]
If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is
it considered a hostage situation?
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they
still grow? Only to be troubled and insecure?
Is there another word for synonym?
Isn't is it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown
away?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why do they report power outages on TV?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an
endangered plant?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
What's another word for thesaurus?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will
clean them?
Why do people who know the least, know it the loudest?
If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their
headlights off?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain
silent?
Why is the word abbreviation so long?
When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
How do you know when its time to tune your bagpipes?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
When you choke a smurf, what color does he turn?
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?
Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the
Special Olympics?
Do radioactive cats have 18 half lives?
If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
If nothing sticks to Teflon, how did they get Teflon to stick to the
pan?
How do they get deer to cross at that yellow sign?
If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
Why do they use sterile needles for lethal injections?
If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?
If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
When a cow laughs does milk come UP its nose?
Why do they put Braille on the number pads of the drive-through bank
machines?
How did a fool and his money get together?
Why do they put expiration dates on a sour cream containers?
Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
If the black box in an airplane is totally indestructible then why
don't they
make the whole plane out of the damn stuff ?
