Hi, Barb.
I just read your note regarding frustrations at work and want to further
underscore the fact that you are NOT ALONE. Here's my story......
I walked into my office Friday a.m. with a burst of optimism stemming from
the scheduling of my annual performance review later that day. While the
positive outcomes of my six previous reviews had conditioned me to
anticipate another upbeat session with the company's president, I was really
"pumped" this time due to a perfectly timed conference call during which a
major client proclaimed me as the "main man" responsible for the success of
a recently completed project. Uncork the bubbly, right?!
Wrong.
As I entered the prez' office, I immediately noticed a more stoic if not
somber expression on the boss' face....a far cry from what I was accustomed
to in previous reviews. Yet, I kept my optimism afloat under the guise
that "heck, the guy's just having a rough day." At any rate, the first
couple of minutes worth of commentary followed the usual path -- high praise
for the quality and creativity of my work -- but then the "nuke" was
delivered by the stealth bomber (e.g. never saw it coming).
The boss went on to remark that despite my accomplishments and contributions
in project management, "there is a signficant problem with regard to [my]
handling of of project schedules and meeting deadlines". Now, I'll readily
concede that schedules and deadlines have not been a strong suit of mine,
ever (even pre-PD days), and even was the subject of a formal discussion I
had with "management" back in 1994. But aside from that one episode three
years ago, there has been absolutely no re-emergence of this issue
informally or within the context of an assessment of my performance reviews
in 1995 -96.
It gets better.
After expressing my astonishment at the sudden ressurection of this
"problem", the boss -- apparently bristling from my unchracteristically
emphatic rebuttal -- announced that I would be receiving just a
cost-of-living increase, with the possibility of a merit increase later this
year if I "show significant improvement in this area". And to push things
to the point of repugnance, I was handed and asked to sign a memo confirming
my understanding of the "reason" for my salary increase being relegated to
a cost-of-living allowance. By now, as you might expect, the PD symptoms
were going full tilt, prompting me to cut short any further attempt at
defending myself, wanting only to get the h*ll out of the boss' office with
whatever dignity I could still summon.
Up until a couple of months ago, my PD was simply a matter of record with the
exception of receiving clearance from management to leave work 15 minutes
early to catch an express train that gets me home an hour earlier. Aside from
that, I've maintained a full-time "plus" workload and will pit my
productivity against any staffer. However, last April, due to the
progression of PD the which included a highly erratic sleep cycle, I
proposed to management several measures aimed at helping me "work around"
the profound mid-afternoon fatigue I was experiencing from the sleep deficit.
A learned later that one proposed accomodation -- telecommuting (on those
days following a totally sleepless night) -- is allegedly regarded as heresy
by the CEO.
Months ago, I was forewarned by other PD list members that regardless of how
favorably an employer may respond to a disclosure of a chronic illness, the
climate can change abruptly once the "A" word ("accomodation") comes into
play. Needless to say, I'm in the process of discovering that for myself.
Rest assured, that if this marks the beginning of a process of "easing me
out the door" (to aptly quote a fellow listee), I'm not going to make it
easy for the front office to accomplish this.
Barb, based on your frequent contributions to the list, I know you're a
fighter (and activist) too, SO LET'S GIVE EM H*LL!!!! Keep the faith.
