Happy Holidays...deleat if seen before! Gail
"Things I've learned from my children"
(honest and no kidding)
There is no such thing as child-proofing your house
If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller
blades, they can ignite
A 4 years olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant
If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing underwear and a superman cape
It is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of a 20
by 20 foot room
Baseballs make marks on ceilings
You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on
When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a
few times before you get a hit
A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by
a ceiling fan
When you hear the toilet flush and the words Uh-oh, it's already too
late
Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it
A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36
year old man says they can only do it in the movies
A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day
If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it
does not leak - it explodes
A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq foot house 4
inches deep
Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old
Duplos will not
Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence
Super glue is forever
McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know
No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool you still can't
walk on water
Pool filters do not like Jello
VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show
they do
Garbage bags do not make good parachutes
Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving
You probably do not want to know what that odor is
Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not
like ovens
The fire department in San Diego has at least a 5 minute response time
The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy
It will however make cats dizzy
Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy
Quiet does not necessarily mean don't worry
A good sense of humor will get you through most problems in life
(unfortunately, mostly in retrospect)
