Suzan, I'm sorry about your father. My first thoughts before and after my PD diagnosis were of taking my life as life would be so useless. I had counseling and anti--depression & anxiety drugs to get me through that time. I was 58 when I found out. When my Dad was in the hospital with a leg problem that puzzled the Drs'. there was talk of an amputation. How terrible i thought, I can't let him know. As it turned out he died in surgery for an aynerism (sp?) but had only been ill for a week so there was no extra suffering or nursing home placement or comas, etc. I guess you must miss him and wish things were different. Some days are better than others. I'm trying to face one day at a time and not worry so much about the future. Patricia