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Baldwin.... Y'know, Baldwin, you brought up something that I've noticed about myself and assorted PD symptoms. If I HAVEN'T ever had a particular symptom (and having had PD for about 21 years, I've had my fair share of them symptoms), and IF I read of a symptom here on the List that I've never heard of before, it seems that within a few days of hearing about it, I GET it! <groan> At first when this used to happen I'd get real worried... after all, the last thing I needed was more PD symptoms! <rueful smile> After a coupla-three days, I'd forget about the new symptoms and they'd simply disappear. While I occasionally get a new symptom that HASN'T necessarily been currently in discussion on the List (and some of those don't disappear) <PHOOEY!> I've concluded that those symptoms I've gotten after reading about 'em here on the List were "self-fullfilling-prophacy symptoms." I suspect a lot of us here on the PD List get those kinds of symptoms. This is a bright and PD-savvy group of people who educate themselves about this disease, and we're REALLY tuned into the daily changes in our respective bodies. I think many of us are very open and susceptible to suggestion when it comes to PD. Once I was aware of what I was mentally doing to myself, when I get a new symptom, the first thing I do is check to see if it's has recently been discussed on the List and if it has, I presume my imagination is reacting to that discussion, and it's NOT the disease itself kicking up. And if it IS the disease, well, I'll know soon enough. Barb Mallut [log in to unmask] -----Original Message----- From: Parkinson's Information Exchange On Behalf Of Baldwin Robertson Sent: Monday, August 04, 1997 6:43 PM To: Multiple recipients of list PARKINSN Subject: Re: Re Hard times Charles, I am thankful that you are active. Your 'Hard times' and other letters, the letters and information available from this list, and yes the banter have been helpful for me at a time when my PD seems to be progressing a little faster than previously. What you say about PD is true. It is a rotten deal, and bitching about it helps. What you said about having company in our misery is also true. It helps too. One of the most striking things about PD is that it comes and goes. Every symptom I have experienced soon lessens or goes away---at least for a while. Just wait and things will change, often for the better. It is just that now the PD seems to come a little more than it goes. I seem to have had at one time or another, fortunately in very small samples so far, just about every one of the PD symptoms people describe. Evidently, Mr. PD is showing me samples of what he can do---enough for me to respect him and know that he ultimately will make life really miserab le---but not enough to stop me yet. We still have time to get something more out of life. We have a reasonable chance of dying years from now from some other disease, or from something else. (gunshot wounds? Now that would be an adventure.) I am going to go for it (life, not the gunshot) with you. Baldwin Robertson, 62/4 [log in to unmask] ---------- From: Charles T. Meyer Sent: Monday, August 04, 1997 10:17 AM To: Multiple recipients of list PARKINSN Subject: Re Hard times Hi George, I think it is important that we bitch a little (or a lot) once in a while here. I have written here about healthy and unhealthy denial and while it is not productive to wallow in our misery there are a lot of times that I feel miserable and damn it, I have a right to feel sorry for myself- when I am unable to go some place on my own, when I wake up at 4 AM with muscle cramps, When I watch the woman I love burdened by my lack of mobility. George-, You ask for words of wisdom. The fact is that you and I and the 1500 pwp on this list are living with (either themselves or through someone we are close to ) a shitty illness that slowly robs us of aspects of our being. The only wisdom that I can impart is the fact that knowing you are not alone and that others of us feel the same way and understand what you are experiencing because we experience it too sometimes makes a difference. I think that I have gotten so active on the list because it permits me to feel useful- that I am still able to help and relate to people at a time in my life when I am losing so much physically and emotionally. I need to remind myself that I still have something to offer others and while I have every right to feel overwhelmed with my losses I still have things that I can contribute. Charlie -- ********************************************************** CHARLES T. MEYER, M.D. MADISON, WISCONSIN **********************************************************