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hi charlie >Your perspective is helpful. >I cannot make the cognitive shift >that you make to feel that PD is a gift. my perspective/background is quite different from yours i've essentially been single for ...whew ... almost 20 years ... yikes i tend to be a bit of a lone wolf[ette] anyway and time alone to think and mull [not in a glum way] has always been precious to me i've gone through a difficult period with business difficulties and personal losses over the past six or seven years and i guess the 'unavoidable pauses' of being 'off' forced me to take even more time to really think about my situation and do a lot of wondering and reading and growing isn't it funny! i commented recently on the confrontational tendencies of our society [all or nothing thinking, my way or the highway, if something's wrong, then someone's got to be at fault, etc] and i almost caught myself up in that trap again of attempting to sway you to my views! sort of like ashleigh brilliant: ~~~ please keep your mind open until i can get a little more of my argument into it ~~~ >Thanks for stimulating me to think through my ideas >and to put them in writing. i appreciate the time you took to reply and now, of course, i'm going to start mulling all over again! with love to you and yours your syber-sis janet [log in to unmask]