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hello syber-siblings in fond memory of alan bonander who left us a year ago today, a quote: "To be depressed is not unusual; but to stay depressed is unnecessary." this seems to be evolving into a weekly 'syber-sibling cd series' every time i read of a syber-sibling struggling with cd i start mulling all over again since i'm so thankful to be out of it and because my heart goes out to anyone who's stuck in it when i'm in the 'slime pit' of cd i generally cannot see my thinking as distorted when i'm out of that pit i can look back and see the distortions clearly when i'm out of the pit and if i pay close attention i can frequently see cd clearly in others it's a catch 22 for the cd sufferer if my thinking is distorted how can i evaluate my thinking? and how can i accept another's evaluation of my thinking? while discussing clinical depression [cd] with a friend recently, we came up with an interesting analogy of how the brain's chemistry malfunction can distort normal thinking into gloom and doom distortions we compared the bio-chemical imbalance of cd to having a faulty fuel gauge in my car "when you're depressed it always points to empty and it stresses you and makes you ill because even though you know when you're zipping around town that it can't always be empty yet there is that time when it will indeed be empty and thus it keeps you in a constant state of stress" i know i'm not 'imagining' anything because i can see the gauge showing 'empty' it's just that when i'm caught up in the slime pit i'm not 'spunky' enough to think the gauge is wrong instead i 'automatically' assume there must be something wrong with me: 'why do i always forget to fill up?' 'i'm gonna run outta gas and be stuck somewhere any minute and get a ticket' 'why am i always so irresponsible/lazy/etc ?' 'i'll never make it to my appointment on time' that's sort of how the negative thinking spiral goes and i believe the constant stress of this 'automatic' thought pattern contributes to the chemical imbalance resulting in a downward spiral of negativity by contrast when i'm out of the slime pit if i saw the fuel gauge showing 'empty' i would not immediately assume there was anything at all wrong with me: i would simply look at the gauge and say "what the heck, i just filled it up the other day! stupid gauge!" [or something to that effect] 2nd analogy for the mud wrestlers among us: cd is a slimey liar it's hard to grab ahold of it but once i've got it pinned down i know it's relatively easy to scrub the slime away with love from your syber-sis dead centre in the sargasso almost janet [log in to unmask]