 |
 |
Mike Handy wrote, describing his father's PD and mother's Alzheimer's and their living situation: > My sister and I have scouted around for living arragements > (Washington, D.C. suburbs) which would provide good care for my > mother and allow my father to have an apartment in the same > complex. There are some which seem excellent to our inexperienced > eyes, and our understanding of our father's finances leads us to > believe he could afford the monthly fees. Of course, he has no > desire to move out of the house; won't even look at the options. A familiar story. We had to hire live-in aides for my mother, who insisted on remaining in her own house far longer than she should have. This arrangement was far less satisfactory than an assisted living facility would have been. Unfortunately, when the elderly refuse to consider alternatives (and I think this is a form of denial of the facts of aging and death), that's when they are needed. It was this way with the parents of my partner, Jane, also. She is an only child, and caring for her parents, who overestimated their ability to remain independent and whose decline and final illnesses lasted many years, was a terrible strain. Both of us are now in our late 50's. At Jane's insistance we began researching senior living facilities for ourselves a few years ago. Our friends thought this was crazy or at least premature. But who knows where our children will be 15 years or more from now? We are in New Jesey; one child is in Seattle, one is moving to Florida, one is thinking about Argentina. We want to make the right choices while we are still able to think about them, and to take responsiblity for our own care in old age. Phil Tompkins