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Sadly being a sensitive, informed carer, is not of itself, proof against the feelings of rejection that many carers must feel. The knowledge that a PWP has body language difficulties does not make those difficulties either stop or easy to live with. It must be not unlike trying to hold a conversation with someone with a bad stutter. We all know that the correct thing to do is to let the stutterer speak for themselves but the temptation to 'finish' words is so strong that it requires an act of will not to. This can produce feelings of frustration, especially if you have other things to do. The range of responses open to the listener are limited. They can remain calm and give the speaker time (a response available only to those of a certain disposition or those who have taken the trouble to learn how, also a response which uses a lot of energy), they can ignore the feelings of the stutterer and finish their words for them, or they can avoid the situation by avoiding the stutterer unless communication is essential. There is a direct analogy with the 'body language' stutter of PD. As my PD has progressed I have watched as friends choose between the calm and avoidance options. With friends the 'jumping in' option seems to be a transitional phase leading to one or other of the others. Not so with the carers I have observed. Many seem to choose the 'jumping in' option, which leads to a constant flow of low level bickering. Perhaps this is because for carers the avoidance option is not simply a matter of lossing touch with someone. Sadly some do choose avoidance. Some of us are lucky enough to have carers who have opted to remain calm and accepting. Those of us in that situation would do well to remember that for many of them remaining calm is not easy, and is in fact an act of will . We PWP need to acknowledge the frustations inherent in our loved one's situation and reciprocate with acts of will of our own. If our body language no longer auto- maticaly transmits our feelings we need to replace the automatic with the deliberate. Just as many of us find it easier to walk by 'marching' ourselves with a silent left - right - left - right, we need to devolop some means of reminding ourselves to let our carers know that we care for them too. For myself, I intend to start by printing this out and giving it to my wife. I also resolve that if conversing during an 'off' period, I will conciously turn my body towards her and make deliberate eye contact. I will find ways to remind myself to initiate touching and hugging when 'off' and, most important of all, I will put letting her know that I love her at the top of my List Of Things To Do When 'On'. Dennis. ++++++++++++++++++++ Dennis Greene 47/10 [log in to unmask] http://members.networx.net.au/~dennisg/ ++++++++++++++++++++