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My sincere thanks to all who have responded with wisdom and compassion to my friend Ron's situation. I would like to give a good report, unfortunately things haven't gone well. It has become painfully apparent that Ron is not able to remain independent. We have gone from one crisis to another, with a few minor victories punctuating. Ron's problem with self-medicating is the one area we have seen some solutions to. I have concluded that all those nifty little compartmentalized, multi-colored pill containers that you buy at the pharmacy have been designed by a team of nimble-fingered engineers whose definintion of handicapped is someone who is no longer able to compete in Olympic events. Who on earth do they think is using those things? We finally settled into a system of multi-colored envelopes that I prepare each day, clearly marked with the time and meal that they are associated with, and left folded but UNSEALED stacked in the right order on a plate. This is working pretty good. Everything else has gone to hell in a hand basket, from the night before last when I arrived to find him frozen at the kitchen table with frozen pasta glued to everything in sight, and a pot of pasta water furiously boiling on the stove with about a quarter inch of water remaining, to last night when he froze and paniced, thankfully within reach of the phone, and the local paramedics had to come help him out. I guess the good news is that his brother in Texas has realized the gravity of the situation and is flying in on Monday to take charge of Ron's affairs, and take him back to Texas to live in an assisted situation. The very eerie and really heartbreaking part of this is talking to Ron about it all. He has been in the same room numerous times as I have discussed his situation with Home Health nurses, social workers, emergency room staff, his neighbor, his brother, etc, etc...almost, but not quite, as if he was not there. Ron understands what is happening, and is so afraid for his safety and quality of life that he is willing to go this route. But he still has feelings about being 54 years old, and being unable to care for himself, the victim of a merciless disease. He says "When they asked us what we planned on being when we grew up, I never said I planned on being a victim of Parkinson's." I am the only person in his life that talks to him about his feelings , most others see his inability and disability, and act as if that's the whole of Ron. It feels very weird to sit across the table from someone you care about and tell them that their life as they know it is over, from this day forward their destiny will be controlled by others, their freedom is but a memory. I got a good taste of how you caregivers must feel, and it's no fun. Add to that pot just the hint of "will this happen to me too?" and I'm not my usual smiley self right now. I have to say though, that in the face of this hideous thing we call PD, I have seen and experienced dimensions of love and caring, sacrifice and selflessness that I have seldom observed in the rest of this world who are supposedly not so cursed as we are. I doubt Ron's relationship with his brother would have ever been close, but by the grace of God, he has responded to Ron's need. Like I told Ron today, when life is reduced to the lowest common denominator, all the fluff gone, we get to be who we really are. I told you there was a silver lining in that dark, dark cloud! Kathie Tollifson [log in to unmask] 47/9