I wrote the following piece soon after hearing of the death of a very dear
friend of mine, Steve Mulligan. Many of you knew him personally, others knew
of him through his website - The Mulligan Foundation. Most of you may not
have known Steve, but you have friends much like Steve. I share this with
you, who understand my grief, my anger and my frustration. I share this with
you because Steve is the first one of my friends with PD to die!! I share
this with you, also, to challenge you to do more.
Dear Steve,
You left us so suddenly July 30th. It takes my breath away to think about
you being gone. I keep thinking that it can't be true. Surely this is
someone's idea of a bad joke. You were too young - only 49!! It seems like
yesterday when we last talked - me giving you my cheerleader "rah rah", and
you making me laugh with that slow, dry wit of yours. Until now, I would
become indignant when I'd hear someone speak of another's cause of death as
being "from" Parkinson's Disease. My curt reply was always, "We don't DIE
from Parkinson's Disease. We just, sometimes, wish we would." Now I am
indignant because your death forces me to face the reality that PD DOES KILL
US. For some of us, it's an emotional death, others a spiritual death. And
for you, my dear friend, the ultimate, physical death.
I am angry at PD for defeating you in your battle to survive. You, who were
so gifted, so unique, so ALIVE - you had much work yet to do. WE had much
work yet to accomplish together - The Mulligan Foundation, support groups,
so many ideas! Your death shouldn't have occurred now. Yes, I am grateful
for the time your Pallidotomy afforded you, but it wasn't enough, was it? The
recent breakthroughs in medications and newer surgical technques didn't come
in time for you. Why is it that the condition of our existence boils down to
money? I hate that! I know that if our research had been adequately funded,
you wouldn't have suffered as you did. Perhaps, you wouldn't be gone from my
life.
The research at Emory, albeit one of the finest and most prestigious, has
seriously inadequate funding for the work that is needed to help those of us
you left behind. Right now, the very program that gave you and me HOPE,
bought us precious time with our Pallidotomies and offers hope to thousands
of others, is in grave need of money. For two years now, I have closed my
ears to the constant pleas to raise money for Emory's Parkinson's Research.
From a Social Worker/Cheerleader point of view, I couldn't justify using my
talents and skills in that way. Two things have occurred to change my
attitude.
Having worked for well over 3 years to get the Udall Bill passed, I now
understand how slow and seemingly, inadequate the political process can be.
Even if the Udall Bill were passed today (and I pray that it will be), it
wouldn't solve the financial problems existing in Parkinson's research. IT
WOULDN'T SAVE YOUR LIFE. It is only a step, a very important step, toward
adequate funding - towards saving the lives of our friends. The major
breakthroughs (dare I hope for a cure in my lifetime?) won't be possible
without money from the private sector.
The financial issure becomes much more personal when, because of the
disparity, some one I love dies. Your death now provides for me the
understanding, committment, determination and passion to raise money for
Emory' s Parkinson's reseach program - hopefuly to prevent our friends with
Parkinson's from suffering as you did.
Steve, your life added value to the lives and filled the hearts of many!
Your death, too, adds equal, if not more, value. I promised you better days
ahead, didn't I? Selfishly, I wanted those "better days" to be spent here
on earth. I wanted to share them with you. I know, though,that where you
are now, you ARE enjoying those "better days."
In your memory, I reaffirm my vow to do all that is within me to continue
offering hope of better days ahead for all of our friends who continue the
PD battle. I also vow to do all that I can to assure that the money is
available to make that hope a reality so others won't have to suffer us you
did....it assure us all that your suffering had purpose. Your proud, fighting
spiirit lives on in me and in all of your family and friends - all who were
privileged to share a part of your unique life. Thank you Steve, for showing
me how to live in dignity with PD! Missing you,
Terrie
For those of you who would like to express your sympathies to Kathy, Steve's
wife.The address is: Kathy Mulligan
10663 Nine Mile Road
Whitmore Lake, Michigan 48189
At the family's request, all memorials in Steve's name are to be sent to:
Emory University
Department of Neurology
WMB - 6000, P,O, Drawer V
Atlanta, Georgia 30322
checks made out to : Emory Pallidotomy Research Fund
