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A-HEM.... (jumping in, and hoping she isn't massacred in the process) I'd like to point out to my fellow Parkies that at one time those of us who vowed to "Love, honor, and cherish, in sickness and health," prolly knew next to nothing ourselves about Parkinson's Disease, or any other major chronic disease. AND I betcha we'd never even HEARD the word "caregiver" in relation to a spouse or life-partner, much less figured WE'D end up in that not-always-enviable-position. I believe as awful as this disease is to US, it's JUST AS AWFUL for our respective spouses, life-partners, etc!!! Just "different-awful...." for THEM. How many of US would give everything we've got to wake up one day and be RID of the damn PD? Did any one of you just say "NOT ME? I love this disease and wanna keep it no matter what?" <rueful smile> I seriously doubt it! So Why should a spouse or life-partner have any different feelings about the disease AND the person who has it? ESPECIALLY if there are OTHER mitigating problems within a marriage or relationship??? There seems to be a common thread amongst the recent number of posts about "my caregiver's divorcing me." HEY FELLAS - is your CAREGIVER leaving the YOU-as-the-PD-patient, or is your WIFE saying "I didn't bargain for this "caregiver" stuff for the rest of my life 'cause it's like being sentenced to a life-term in prison for me! AND this marriage ain't so hot either?" It takes a very special partner to hang in there for the long haul, AND a very special relationship. If the love that was there at the beginning has long since been eroded by the many other things that can undermine the foundations of a marriage, why then would you expect your spouse to continue living in the same house with you in a caregiver role year after year after endless year? That smacks of penal servitude to me, and personally, I'd rather struggle on on my own no matter HOW bad that may be than to force someone whom I look at ONLY as a "caregiver," and as an "income provider," rather than as a dearly beloved partner, to continue in that unenviable position. It's bad enough that I'M held prisoner by the PD - I sure don't want to be someone ELSES jailer ALONG with my disease putting them in that role. Barb Mallut [log in to unmask]